Health & wealth : wherein is pleasingly told how to be happy--but not too happy--and yet be rich; containing thoughts, always sincere and sometimes serious, concerning the best methods of preventing one from becoming a burden to himself, a weariness to his friends, a trial to his neighbors and a reflection on his maker

IC-NI

HEALTH &
WEAL T H

BY ELBERT HUBBARD OF EAST AURORA

Wherein is pleasingly told how to be happy —
but not too happy — and yet be rich ; containing
thoughts, always sincere and sometimes serious,
concerning the best methods of preventing one
from becoming a burden to himself, a weari
ness to his friends, a trial to his neighbors and
a reflection on his Maker ^ & & & & & jfi

Done into a Book by THE ROYCROFTERS
and sold by them at their Shop, which
also is in East Aurora, N. Y. , mcmviii

Copyright

1908
By Elbert Hubbard

HEALTH AND WEALTH

I am not bound to win, but I am bound to be
true; I am not bound to succeed, but I am
bound to live up to what light I have jfc

— ABRAHAM LINCOLN

Ring out a slowly dying cause,
And ancient forms of party strife;
Ring in the nobler modes of life,

With sweeter manners, purer laws.

Ring in the valiant man and free,
The larger heart, the kindlier hand;
Ring out the darkness of the land,

Ring in the Christ that is to be.

— TENNYSON

M519859

MAN is NOT YET CREATED — HE is ONLY
IN PROCESS

INVOCATION

MY heart goes out to you, O Man,
because I cannot conceive of any
being greater, nobler, more heroic,
more tenderly loving, loyal, unselfish and endur
ing than are you.

All the love I know is Man's love. All the for
giveness I know is Man's forgiveness. All the
sympathy I know is Man's sympathy. Hence
I address myself to Man — to you — and you
I would serve.

The fact that you are a human being brings
you near to me. It is the bond that unites us.
I understand you because you are a part of
myself. You may like me or not — it makes no
difference — if ever you need my help, I am
with you. Often we can help each other most by
leaving each other alone ; at other times we need
the hand-grasp and the word of cheer. I am only
a man — a mere man — but in times of loneliness,
think of me as one who loves his kind. What
your condition is in life will not prejudice me,
either for or against you. What you have done
or not done will not weigh in the scale.

HEALTH AND WEALTH

If you have been wise and prudent, I congratu
late you, unless you are unable to forget how
wise and good you are, then I pity you. If you
have stumbled, fallen and been mired in the
mud, and have failed to be a friend to yourself,
then you of all men need friendship and I am
your friend. I am the friend of convicts, insane
people and fools — successful and unsuccessful,
college-bred and illiterate.
You all belong to my church.
I could not exclude you if I would jfc But if I
should shut you out, I would then close the door
upon myself and be a prisoner, indeed.
The Spirit of Love that flows through me and
of which 1 am a part, is your portion, too. The
race is one and we trace to a common Divine
Ancestry jt ^t

I offer you no reward for being loyal to me, and
surely I do not threaten you with pain, penalty
and dire ill fortune if you are indifferent to me.
If You cannot win me by praise or adulation,
^f You cannot shut my heart against you, even
though you deny and revile me.
Only the good can reach me, and no thought of
love you send me can be lost or missent.

HEALTH AND WEALTH

All the kindness you feel for me should be given
to those nearest you, and it shall all be passed
to your credit, for you yourself are the record
of your thoughts, and no error can occur in the
count.

You belong to my church, and always and for
ever my friendship shall follow you, yet never
intrude jt Js,

I do not ask you to incur obligations or make
promises. There are no dues. I do not demand
that you shall do this and not do that. I issue no
commands.

I cannot lighten your burden and perhaps I
should not, even if I could, for men grow
strong thru bearing burdens. If I can, I will
show you how to acquire strength to meet all
your difficulties, and face the duties of the day.
If It is not for me to take charge of your life, for
surely I do well if I look after one person & If
you err, it is not for me to punish you. We are
punished by our sins, not for them.
Soon or late I know you will see that to do right
brings Good, and to do wrong brings misery,
but you will abide by the Law and all good
things will be yours. I cannot change these laws

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HEALTH AND WEALTH

—I cannot make you exempt from your own
blunders and mistakes.

And you cannot change the Eternal Laws for
me, even though you die for me.
But perhaps I can point you the pathway that
leads to Love, Truth and Usefulness, and this
I want to do, because I am your friend & And
then by pointing you the way I find it myself.
You belong to me — you are a member of my
church — all are members of my church, none
are excluded or can be excluded. So over the
plains and prairies, over the mountains and
seas, over the cities and towns, in palaces,
tenements, moving- wagons, dugouts, cottages,
hovels, sleeping-cars, day-coach, caboose, cab,
in solitary cells behind prison bars, or wander
ing out under the stars, my heart goes out to
you, whoever you are, and I wish you well ^
Only love do I send, and a desire to bless and
benefit. AMEN.

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HEALTH AND WEALTH
To PLOW is TO PRAY

A Prayer

THE supreme prayer of my heart is not
to be learned, rich, famous, powerful,
or "good," but simply to be radiant ^fc
I desire to radiate health, cheerfulness, calm
courage and good will, ^f I wish to live without
hate, whim, jealousy, envy, fear. I wish to be
simple, honest, frank, natural, clean in mind
and clean in body, unaffected — to say "I do not
know," if it be so, and to meet all men on an
absolute equality — to face any obstacle and
meet every difficulty unabashed and unafraid.
If I wish others to live their lives, too — up to their
highest, fullest and best. To that end I pray that
I may never meddle, interfere, dictate, give
advice that is not wanted, or assist when my
services are not needed. If I can help people,
I '11 do it by giving them a chance to help them
selves ; and if I can uplift or inspire, let it be by
example, inference and suggestion, rather than
by injunction and dictation. That is to say,

I DESIRE TO BE RADIANT — TO RADIATE LIFE.

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HEALTH AND WEALTH
MUTUALITY, RECIPROCITY, CO-OPERATION

Declaration

I HOLD these truths to be self-evident:
That man was made to be happy;
That happiness is only attainable through
useful effort;

That the best way to help ourselves is to help
others;

That useful effort means the proper exercise of
all our faculties ;

That we grow only through this exercise;
That education should continue through life,
and the joys of mental endeavor should be,
especially, the solace of the old;
That where men alternate work, study and play
in right proportion, the brain is the last organ of
the body to fail. Death for such has no terrors ;
That the possession of wealth can never make a
man exempt from useful, manual labor;
That if all would work a little, none would be
overworked;

That if no one wasted, all would have enough;
Tf That if none were overfed, none would be

underfed ;
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HEALTH AND WEALTH

That the rich and "educated" need education
quite as much as the poor and illiterate;
That the presence of a serving class is an indict
ment and a disgrace to our civilization;
That the disadvantage of having a serving
class falls most upon those who are served, and
not upon those who serve — just as the real curse
of slavery falls upon the slave-owner;
That the presence of a serving class tends toward
dissolution instead of co-operation;
That the people who are waited on by a serving
class cannot have a just consideration for the
rights of others, and that they waste both time
and substance, both of which are lost forever,
and can only partially be made good by addi
tional human effort;

That the person who lives on the labor of others,
not giving himself in return to the best of his
ability, is really a consumer of human life;
That the best way to abolish a serving class is
for all to join it;

That in useful service there is no high nor low ;
That all duties, offices and things which are use
ful and necessary are sacred, and that nothing

else is or can be.

is

HEALTH AND WEALTH

HEALTH Is THE MOST NATURAL THING IN
THE WORLD

Health and Habit

IF you have health, you probably will be
happy; and if you have health and happi
ness, you will have all the wealth you need,
even if not all you want.

Health is the most natural thing in the world.
It is natural to be healthy because we are a part
of Nature — we are Nature. Nature is try ing hard
to keep us well, because she needs us in her
business.

Nature needs man so he will be useful to other
men ^t &

The rewards of life are for service.
And the penalties of life are for selfishness.
If Human service is the highest form of self-
interest for the person who serves.
We preserve our sanity only as we forget self in
service.

To center on one's self, and forget our relation
ship to society is to summon misery, and misery
means disease.

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HEALTH AND WEALTH

Unhappiness is an irritant. It affects the heart
beats or circulation first; then the digestion, and
the person is ripe for two hundred and nineteen
diseases, and six hundred and forty-two com
plications Jk ejt

Nothing you can take out of a bottle or that you
can rub on, will remove the cause of misery.
"Medicine is only palliative," says Dr. Weir
Mitchell, "for back of disease lies the cause,
and this cause no drug can reach. "
"I've got a cold in my head," said the man to
the wise doctor.

And the doctor replied, "Doubtless, for that is
the only place where the microbe abides. "
People who dread disease and fear disease have
disease £> <£>

The recipe for good health is this: Forget it.
If What we call diseases are merely symptoms
of mental conditions.

Our bodies are automatic, and thinking about
your digestion does not aid you ^t Rather it
hinders, since the process of thinking, especially
anxious thinking, robs the stomach of its blood,
and transfers it to the head.

If you are worried enough, digestion will stop

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HEALTH AND WEALTH

absolutely, ^f The moral is obvious : Don't Worry.
"This horse is all right, unless he gets scared,"
said a horseback rider to me, the other day.
And I answered, "So am I!"
In public speaking I have often noticed that
when I am anxious to make a big speech, I
grow fearful about my voice, and begin to dis
trust my memory. The result is that I have to
push that speech ahead of me for the whole
blessed hour and a half, and am conscious of
my feet and aware of my hands all the time jt
The result is a strictly Class B oratorical effort.
If That is to say, it was an effort and not a pleas
ure for either the speaker or the audience. For
a speaker supplies the mood for the audience.
If the speaker is happy, the audience is, also.
And as before hinted, we are only happy when
we forget ourselves and do not know whether
we are happy or not.

Those rare times when I make a big impression
upon my auditors are when I go upon the stage
with a certain amount of indifference, simply
taking care not to have over-eaten. Then I start
in slowly, and soon the thoughts are coming
along, just as fast as I can use them. The air is

HEALTH AND WEALTH

full of reasons, and all I have to do is to reach

up and pick the ones I want.

With good health it is the same — just a few

plain rules, and the whole matter is automatic

and self-lubricating. Health is a habit.

We are ruled by habit.

There are three habits which, with but one

condition added, will give you everything in the

world worth having, and beyond which the

imagination of man cannot conjure forth a single

addition or improvement. These habits are:

THE WORK HABIT.
THE HEALTH HABIT.

THE STUDY HABIT.

If you are a man and have these habits, and
also have the love of a woman who has these
same habits, you are in Paradise now and here,
and so is she.

Health, Books and Work, with Love added, are
a solace for all the stings and arrows of outra
geous fortune — a defense 'gainst all the storms
that blow, for through their use you transmute
sadness into mirth, trouble into ballast, pain
into joy.

Do you say that religion is still needed ?

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Then I answer that Work, Study, Health and

Love constitute religion. Moreover, any religion

that leaves out any one of these four ingredients

is not religion, but fetich.

And yet most formal religions have pronounced

the love of man for woman and woman for man

an evil thing.

They have proclaimed labor a curse.

They have said that sickness was sent from God ;

and they have whipped and scorned the human

body as something despicable, and thus have

placed a handicap on health, and made the

doctor a necessity.

And they have said that mental attainment was

a vain and frivolous thing, and that our reason

was a lure to lead us on to the eternal loss of

our soul's salvation.

Now, we deny it all, and again proclaim that

these will bring you all the good there is —

Health, Work, Study— Love!

Work means safety for yourself and service to

mankind. Health means much happiness and

potential power jt Study means knowledge,

equanimity and the evolving mind. Love means

all the rest!
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HEALTH AND WEALTH

But Love must be a matter of reciprocity, not a
one-sided affair. "I love you because you love
the things that I love. "

A man who marries a woman in order to
educate her, falls a victim to the same fallacy
that the woman does who marries a man expect
ing to reform him.

If you marry a woman who is not on your mental
wire, you'll either go down to her level or you
will live in a water-tight compartment and go
to purgatory through mental asphyxiation.
Choose this day the habits you would have
rule over you.

To KNOW ALL Is To FORGIVE ALL

The Things We Know

IN courts of law the phrase "I believe" has
no standing. Never a witness gives testi
mony but that he is cautioned thus, "Tell
us what you know, not what you believe."
If In theology, belief has always been regarded
as more important than that which your senses
say is so.
Almost without exception "belief" is a legacy,

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an importation — something borrowed, an echo,
and often an echo of an echo.
The Creed of the Future will begin, "I know,"
not "I believe." And this creed will not be
forced upon the people. It will carry with it
no coercion, no blackmail, no promise of an
eternal life of idleness and ease if you accept
it, and no threat of hell if you don't. It will
have no paid, professional priesthood, claiming
honors, rebates and exemptions, nor will it hold
estates free from taxation. It will not organ
ize itself into a system, marry itself to the State,
and call on the police for support. It will be
reasonable, so in the line of self-preservation
that no sane man or woman will reject it, and
when we really begin to live it we will cease to
talk about it.

As a suggestion and first rough draft, I submit
this— I KNOW:
That I am here

In a world where nothing is permanent but
change,

And that in degree I, myself, can change the
form of things
And influence a few people;

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And that I am influenced by these and other
people;

That I am influenced by the example and by
the work of men who are no longer alive,
And that the work I now do will in degree influ
ence people who may live after my life has
changed into other forms;
That a certain attitude of mind and habit of
action on my part will add to the peace, happi
ness and well-being of other people,
And that a different thought and action on my
part will bring pain and discord to others;
That if I would secure reasonable happiness for
myself, I must give out good- will to others;
That to better my own condition I must prac
tice mutuality;

That bodily health is necessary to continued
and effective work;
That I am largely ruled by habit;
That habit is a form of exercise;
That up to a certain point, exercise means
increased strength or ease in effort;
That all life is the expression of spirit;
That my spirit influences my body,

And my body influences my spirit;

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That the universe to me is very beautiful, and

everything and everybody in it good and beau

tiful, when my body and my spirit are in

harmonious mood;

That my thoughts are hopeful and helpful

unless I am filled with fear,

And that to eliminate fear my life must be dedi

cated to useful work — work in which I forget

myself;

That fresh air in abundance, and moderate,

systematic exercise in the open air are the part

of wisdom;

That I cannot afford, for my own sake, to be

resentful nor quick to take offense;

That happiness is a great power for good,

And that happiness is not possible without

moderation and equanimity ;

That time turns all discords into harmony if

men will but be kind and patient,

And that the reward which life holds out for

work is not idleness nor rest, nor immunity

from work, but increased capacity, GREATER

DIFFICULTIES, MORE WORK.

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GOSSIPS LIE LIKE EPITAPHS

The Gossip Microbe

THE person who plays pitch-and-toss
with your good name is not necessarily
your enemy.

Probably if you go to him quietly and ask
a favor, he will be glad to grant it, and will
consider it an honor to exert himself in your
behalf. His unkind remarks are the result of the
Gossip-Habit. He talks to hear himself talk-
nothing is quite so pleasing to his ears as the
sound of his own bazoo. To have others listen
to his vaporings is gratifying to his vanity.
He dissects the life and belittles the motives of
anybody and everybody who are not present.
Should the person reviled suddenly appear
upon the scene, the theme quickly changes, and
the newcomer is treated with kindly deference,
and is regaled by hearing the character of some
one else ripped up into carpet-rags.
The Gossip Microbe is born of vacuity, and
breeds best in idle minds.
If you do not hear what the scandalmonger

says, you are not harmed. As for those who hear

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him, they are not influenced against you by what
he says, and for the most part his words die on
the empty air.

He injures no one but himself.
However, the person who comes and tells you
what the loquacious one says about you, is a
positive pest. His action is unforgivable and
unpardonable. He robs you of your peace oi
mind. The idle charges when told over again
take on a different color and become realities.
So to repeat: The individual who rails on me
behind my back is very seldom my enemy; the
person who comes to me and tells me what he
says, is.

The first I '11 pardon, the latter forever is tabu-
let his name be anathema. He is one who magni
fies idle nothings and vacuous vaporings until
they become noxious gases.
The man who talks gossip is a fool ; but the one
who repeats it is a rogue. Your friends are those
who tell you the kind things that are said oi
you; your enemies are those who, in the hoh
name of friendship, come to you and poison
your atmosphere by the other thing.

That plan of the king in the olden time whc
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killed the messenger that brought him bad
news, has my approval. Blessed are the feet
of those who bring GLAD TIDINGS

IT Is A GREAT THING TO BE A MAN

Vance of Edmonton

AT Winnipeg a man came down from
Edmonton to attend my lecture ^t
Edmonton is eight hundred miles
from Winnipeg. It takes two days and a night
to come, and the same to go back.
The man's name is Vance. He said he did n't
want to miss the chance when I was so close.
He was an Irishman. "Doubtless," I hear the
merry chorus chime, "the Irish are such a fond,
foolish and impulsive people!"
Vance arrived the day before the lecture so to
make sure to secure a ticket and get accommo
dations at the hotel.

He had no trouble in getting his ticket, and was
accommodated all right at the hotel.
An hour before the lecture was set to begin,
Vance was there holding down a front seat ^t

The church seats twelve hundred — only eight

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hundred were at the lecture. If Many people in
Winnipeg did not go.

Vance was amazed at sight of empty pews. He
thought it stood for Winnipeg empty heads. I
tried to tell him that Winnipeg people in point
of intelligence were far above the average — that
people interested in advanced thought were
very few — and that if one's virtue consisted in
outstripping popularity, it was quite absurd to
expect to be popular.
He could not quite see it.

Vance came eight hundred miles to see me, and
some day I '11 go eight hundred miles to see him.
But no matter how far Vance travels, he '11 never
find a man any finer than he sees when he looks
into a mirror.

He is a type that is peculiar, unique, strange,
but well defined — an honest, simple and direct
man. Vance is six feet tall and weighs over two
hundred pounds jfc All of his forty odd and
strange years have been spent in lumber camps,
rafting on rivers, on the plains, far from so-called
centers of civilization. All the seamy side of life
to him is familiar, yet his soul has never been

seared with pitch. He is so truthful, unaffected
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and sincere, that he commands the earnest
respect of every one he meets. It never occurs
to him to lie.

The size of the man may help a little, not to
mention his big, homely Irish mug.
Vance has had time to read and time to think.
Not only has he read books, but he has com
mitted them to memory. Give him the first line
of any of Byron's poems, and if you don't look
out, he will give you the rest. He knows his
Shakespeare ; has read Browning enough to dis
like him; dotes on Reedy; loves Tom Moore;
revels in Stevenson; takes a shy at Burton;
reverences the Mosher books. He talks to you
solemnly of the "Big Five" — Darwin, Huxley,
Tyndall, Spencer and Alfred Russel Wallace.
"Travels in Malay " by Wallace is to him a text
book. Ingersoll he regards as a trifle flippant —
he has lived so much within himself he does not
joke. Thomas Paine he admires, as he does
Hume, Buckle, Haeckel and Lecky.
When Vance talks it is in a slow, measured
monotone. He weighs his words; speaks with
precision, but with great courtesy and defer
ence. He is a good listener, yet when you take his

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measure, you prefer to hear him. ^f With Vance
was a Scotchman, by the name of MacDonald,
(of course), well turned seventy, who had spent
thirty years as agent for the Hudson Bay Com
pany in the North.

These men had met on a literary basis — they
both loved Robert Louis and read Little Jour
neys. Each had worked out in his own mind a
clear-cut scheme of philosophy, a well-defined
idea of right and wrong.

The thirty years with the aborigines had not
deprived MacDonald of his burr, which was as
ripe and choice a specimen as you can hear in
Glasgow. But he, too, had grown silent by
nature, and had taken on a good deal of the
Indian reserve. Between many lightings of his
pipe and long pauses MacDonald told us this
story, as we sat in my room after the lecture. I
have too much respect for Vance's old friend to
try to imitate his dialect. That is his own. But
this is the story. Said fche old man after a long,
thoughtful pause: No, Indians are not bad
people if you treat them about half right. They
may be savages, but they are not as savage as

white men. I never had a gun argument with an
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HEALTH AND WEALTH

Indian. He is a child by nature, and responds to
kindness. It pays to tell the truth to children,
and I may be wrong, but I believe in keeping
faith with Indians. This was always my policy,
and Indians for hundreds of miles around were
my friends. They even told me their troubles,
which is an unusual thing for an Indian to do.
Tf The last few winters have been very severe, and
my Indian friends have suffered greatly. Two
squaws came into the Post last spring, just when
the leaves had begun to come out. One had a
papoose on her back, and with her was an eight-
year-old girl. I remembered the year before
when she came, her husband was with her, also
a grown-up boy and several children beside jt
The squaws sat around all day and said noth-
ing.I guessed they wanted to tell me something.
At night they disappeared, but in the morning
they came back and told me a tale of hardship
that really melted my stony heart, used as I am
to suffering.

Winter had set in early and the snows fell. This
woman, with the grown-up boy who had just
killed his first deer and therefore was a man,

had laid in quite a stock of frozen rabbits, but

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HEALTH AND WEALTH

a wandering band of trappers coming along
and needing food, she had given them all the
rabbits. She was sure that her husband and
boy could get more.

But the snows kept falling, and the winds blew
and drifted the snow so that it was unsafe to
leave the teepee. They had eaten the dogs, all
save one old favorite.

The food was all gone, and after waiting two
days the man and boy started forth to hunt «^t
Not a track could be found, for the snow was
falling and drifting beside.
They did not return, and during the night the
dog came back alone. The mother left the chil
dren and went forth following the dog to find
her husband and boy. They had been famished
for food and were overcome by the cold before
they had gone a mile. The boy was dead, but
the man was still alive. The woman carried and
dragged him home.

Something must be done — she placed the man
upon a toboggan, strapped the five-year-old
child on top of him, and carrying the papoose
on her back, and with the eight-year-old girl
helping to pull the toboggan, she started for
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HEALTH AND WEALTH

her nearest neighbor's, ten miles away. All day
she moved steadily forward. She arrived and
entered the teepee of her friend. One glance
told all — her neighbor was in even greater dis
tress than herself, for all of her household were
dead and the woman was alone, just ready to
let the fire go out and lie down and sleep the
long sleep. The woman who had just arrived
killed the dog, and this kept them alive for a
few days. But the man and the five-year-old
child died, and the women, the papoose and
the eight-year-old girl were alone. The snow
ceased to fall, and they caught rabbits and ate
bark for food.

At last spring arrived, and when the ice melted
they came to the Post to tell me of their loss.
There were no tears — just a plain recital of the
facts. They wanted nothing, only that I should
know. They did not even wish me to condole
with them, for after telling me their tale, they
disappeared in the forest and I sat there, dumb.

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IN ORDER TO HAVE FRIENDS, You MUST
BE ABLE TO Do WITHOUT THEM.

On Secret Societies

MYSTERY and miracle were born in
Egypt. It was there that a system was
evolved, backed up by the ruler, of
religious fraud so colossal that modern decep
tion looks like the bungling efforts of an amateur.
The government, the army, the taxing power
of the State were sworn to protect gigantic safes
in which were hoarded — nothing. That is to say,
nothing but the pretense, upon which cupidity
and self -hypnotized credulity battened and
fattened and borrowed money.
All institutions which thru mummery, strange
acts, dress and ritual, affect to know and impart
the inmost secrets of creation and ultimate des
tiny, had their rise in Egypt. In Egypt now are
only graves, tombs, necropoles and silence. The
priests there need no soldiery to keep their
secrets safe. Ammon-Ra, who once ruled the
universe, being finally exorcised by the sign of
the cross, is now as dead as the mummies who
once were men and upheld his undisputed sway.

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If The Egyptians guarded their mysteries with
jealous dread. We know their secret now. It is
this : there are no mysteries.
That is the only secret upon which any secret
society holds a caveat ^ Wisdom cannot be
corralled in gibberish and fettered in jargon.
Knowledge is one thing, palaver another. The
Greek-letter societies of our callow days still
survive in bird's-eye, and next to these come the
Elks who take theirs with seltzer and a smile,
as a rare good joke, save that brotherhood and
good fellowship are actually a saving salt.
Greek-letter societies are the rudimentary sur
vivals of what was once an integral part of every
college. Making dead languages optional was
the last convulsive kick of the cadaver. All this
mystery and mysticism were once official, and
later on being discarded by the authorities, were
continued by the students as a kind of prank.
If And now a good many colleges are placing
the seal of their disapproval on secret societies
among the students; and the day is near when
the secret society will not be tolerated, either
directly or indirectly, as a part of the education
of youth. All this because tke sophomoric mind

35

HEALTH AND WEALTH

is prone to take its Greek-letter mysteries seri
ously and regard the college curriculum as a
joke of the faculty.

If knowledge were to be gained by riding a goat,
any petty cross-roads, with its lodge-room over
the grocery, would contain a Herbert Spencer;
the agrarian mossbacks would have wisdom by
the scruff and detain knowledge with a tail-told.
If There can be no secrets in life and morals,
because Nature has provided that every beauti
ful thought you know and every precious senti
ment you feel shall shine out of your face so that
all who are great enough may see, know, under
stand, appreciate and appropriate. You keep
things only by giving them away.

Fix NOT YOUR FAITH ON AN ABSENTEE GOD

Canned Philosophy

^"" ""THEOLOGY is canned philosophy. It is
supplied to the individual with the best
JL success at adolescence, when glimmer
ing intellect is in doubt; when an explanation
of physical phenomena is demanded; when

nerves are vibrating, and the person being in a
36

HEALTH AND WEALTH

transition period, craves protection, ^f At this
time, mysticism coupled with the religious rite
of "confirmation" meets with a glad response
from the vascillating, restless, feverish, uncertain
condition of the novitiate.
Centuries of pious priestcraft have reduced the
scheme to a science.

Formalized religions with their bells, responses,
swinging censers, robes, processions, genuflec
tions, and strange sights, sounds and smells,
are well calculated to stampede reason and
make cowards of us all.

These things were first worked out in the ado
lescence of the race, long before any definite
knowledge of the actual world was considered
either possible or desirable. Hence the warfare
of religion with science. Science sets free, formal
religion fetters.

A reasonable amount of superstition, to para
phrase our old friend David Harum, is desirable
at a certain time in our evolution. The fairies fit
the child-mind. They arouse imagination, and
surely this animation is better than deadness,
inertia and dumb indifference. So superstition
has its use. Its danger lies in crystallizing it into

37

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a dogma and teaching it as truth to grown-ups,
forcing it upon humanity with injunction, threat
and coercion.

Up to the time of Thomas Jefferson, religion and
government were one, and even now, altho they
are not legally wedded, they continue to have
"relations." No candidate for the presidency
dares express his honest belief. The church still
uses the government to force canned philosophy
upon us.

And yet I believe that most priests and preach
ers are honest men who think they are really
serving humanity. When we get our living out
of a thing, self-interest prompts us to defend
it, and we believe that which is to our own inter
est to believe.

Jesus was a rebel against a formal, ossified
religion. He had nothing to do with organiz
ing a religious trust. The "Christian" religion
had its rise in Egypt, Assyria and Chaldea «^t
The customs and costumes of Babylon and
Nineveh have come down to us, and are still per
petuated without a single patentable improve
ment. Jesus was dead and not able to defend His

good name ; and so His gentle philosophy of com-
38

HEALTH AND WEALTH

bined protest and affirmation was seized and
worked up into the prevailing pagan hash of
superstition.

Now and then a so-called liberal arises and
announces that he has discovered a formalde
hyde that will disinfect, sweeten and freshen
the mass, and he, too, is probably honest. His
future, his fortune, his good name depend upon
the success of the thing which he upholds, and
so he maintains it even with his life. Martyr
dom does not prove a thing true, any more than
does success. Vice has always had a thousand
martyrs to Virtue's one. The heroism and per
sistency shown by criminals in following their
bent is admirable, were it not appalling.
Criminals have been trained by society, unknow
ingly, of course, to do this one thing, and so they
cleave and cling to it, and "die in the harness. "
It is so with theology. The men trained to it can
do nothing else, and so they clutch it and cling
to it, declaring it the hope of the world and
prophesy terrible things that will happen to
a godless government. And the people to whom
the canned philosophy has been fed, are used to
it, and are unable to digest anything else. Our

39

HEALTH AND WEALTH

minds like our bodies crave the accustomed jfc
So long as government and church were one,
no thinker was safe. Treason and blasphemy
were net and spear, always in waiting for the
lives of those who failed to conform & It was
Jefferson who first fixed in a constitution the
definition that treason should not consist in
anything you might say or write. Treason now
consists in armed war upon your country, or
in giving aid and succor to its armed enemies ^t
Blasphemy now consists in speaking disrespect
fully of another man's conception of the Deity.
And this in America you have a perfect legal
right to do.

And so it was Jefferson and Ingersoll who killed
the ptomaines in theology — or at least filed their
teeth. And now behold theology as a sawdust
breakfast food, made palatable to the unthink
ing — educated and uneducated — thru a dash
of morality and a sprinkling of sweet ethics ^t
Formal religion was organized for slaves; it
offered them consolation which earth did not
provide. Work for them offered no solace. To-day
it is different: sensible people realize that the

man who does not enjoy his work will never
40

HEALTH AND WEALTH

enjoy anything. Work is our refuge and defense;
and art is the expression of man's joy in his
work jt jfc

If you have evolved to a point where you are
able to make your work an art, you reach the
sense of sublimity, or a realizing kinship with
the Divine.

THERE Is No DEVIL BUT FEAR!

Theology and Medicine

MARTIN LUTHER the German,
John Calvin the Frenchman, and
John Knox the Scotchman lived at
the same time. They constitute a trinity of
strong men who profoundly influenced their
times ; and the epoch they made was so impor
tant that we refer to it as "The Reformation. "
They form the undertow of that great tidal
wave of reason, the Italian Renaissance. And as
the chief business of the Hahnemariian School
of Medicine was to dilute the dose of the
Allopaths, and the Christian Scientists con
firmed the Homeopaths in a belief in the
beauties of the blank tablet, so did Luther,

41

HEALTH AND WEALTH

Calvin and Knox neutralize the arrogance of
Rome, and dilute the dose of despotism. Ernest
Renan thought that Martin Luther put progress
back five hundred years, "by effecting a com
promise with the Catholic Church, supplying
the people something just as good, at less cost. "
Tf Yet the great Renan must have known that
fanaticism is a disease of the mind, just as
alcoholism is a disease of the body, and the
rational cure for both is the diminishing dose.
That is, you are weaned from one thing by the
substitution of something less harmful.
The cure by violence and revulsion, sometimes
works, but it is unreliable and often unsafe.
Tf Mankind can be released from the power of
weakness only by slow degrees.
Christian Science has eliminated the doctor,
reducing the rank of priest to that of reader,
and thrown away the bell, candle, and curse,
but it still finds it expedient, if not absolutely
necessary, to have its "Book" and "Church."
T And behold one great Life Insurance Com
pany has instructed its agents by circular thus :
"Christian Scientists as a class are extra good

risks and should be solicited." TfThen comes
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HEALTH AND WEALTH

Dr. Hughson Harding, the celebrated neurolo
gist of London, and says, "Christian Science
by lessening nerve-tension, and increasing the
self-reliance of the patient, brings about a
normal flow of the secretions, and thus doubt
less increases the average length of human life
in a very perceptible degree. "
Kenan's idea that humanity could have been
jumped from the hypnotic dazzle of Rome into
the clean, calm sunlight of reason at a bound,
if Luther had not interposed "with something
just as good, " is not reasonable. Mankind must
get used to the light by degrees.
And if Protestantism is "a compromise with
truth," as Diderot and so many others have
averred, let us just remember that life itself is
a compromise, and that progress is only possi
ble thru courteously giving the rights of the road
and making way for vehicles, even though you
do not exactly love the occupants nor admire
their millinery.

NATURE intended that each animal should
live to an age approximating five times the
number of years which it takes to reach its

43

HEALTH AND WEALTH

bodily maturity. Man reaches his height and
maximum strength at twenty, and should there
fore live to be a hundred.

The brain, being the last organ developed, and
growing until man is past seventy, should sit
secure and watch every organ decline. As it is;
the brain, with over one-half of the individuals
who live to be seventy, loses its power before
the hands and feet, and death reaps something
less than a man — all thru too much exercise for
the brain, or not enough.

Glancing once more at Dr. Harding's remark,
it is very evident that if the sum of human hap
piness can be increased, life will be much
extended, and the danger of dying at the top
obviated j& ^

Of all the mental and physical polluters of life,
nothing exercises such a poisonous effect as fear.
lj Fear paralyzes the will, and either stagnates
the secretions or turns them loose in a torrent.
If Jealousy, cruelty, hate, revenge, are all forms
of fear & <£

Abolish fear, and every man and woman is an
orator and an artist. The criminal and the
untruthful person are obsessed by fear until

HEALTH AND WEALTH

the genial current of their life is turned awry.
A man, like a horse, is safe until he gets in the
fell clutch of fear.

When the Shah of Persia was asked the average
length of human life in his country, he replied,
"Some die old, some die young — only God can
tell how long anybody will live. "
Luther died at sixty-three, Calvin at fifty-three
and John Knox at fifty-seven <£> Luther and
Knox were in prison, and Calvin only escaped
by flight. All were under sentence of death; all
lived under the ban of fear. And all preached a
religion of fear. All were literally scared to death
and all have literally scared to death thousands
upon thousands of other people.
Now if you were asked what factor in human
life had contributed most to fear, would you
not be compelled in truth to say, theology ?
Theology, by diverting the attention of men
from this life to another, and by endeavoring to
coerce all men into one religion, constantly
preaching that this world is full of misery,
but the next world would be beautiful — or not
— as the case may be, has forced on men the
thought of fear where otherwise there might

45

HEALTH AND WEALTH

have been the happy abandon of nature, f Next
to theology in point of harm, is medicine,
which is the study of the abnormal, and the
constantly iterated thought that the "family
physician" was a necessary adjunct to life
itself; which thought has bred in mankind the
fallacy of looking to the doctor for relief from
pain, instead of to ourselves. Should we not
understand the Laws of Life sufficiently, so to
be as well and as happy as birds and squirrels ?
The third great engine of human misery has
been the law. Seventy per cent of the members
of all our lawmaking bodies are lawyers. Very
naturally lawyers in making laws favor laws
that make lawyers a necessity. If this were not
so, lawyers would not be human.
Until very recent times, and in degree I am told
it is so yet, laws are for the subjection of the
many and the upholding of the privileges of the
few. The few employ a vast lobby, while all the
many can do is to obey, or be ground into the
mire. All the justice the plain people have, they
have had to fight for, and what we get is a sop
to keep us quiet. The law, for most people, is a

great mysterious malevolent engine, of wrath.
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HEALTH AND WEALTH

A legal summons will yet blanch the cheek of
most honest men, and an officer at the door
sends consternation into the family. The District
Attorney prosecutes us — we must defend our
selves. "And if you have no money to hire a
lawyer, you are adjudged guilty and for you
justice is a by- word," says Luther Laflin Mills,
the eminent lawyer.

And here is the argument: The fear of death,
as taught by the clergy, the fear of disease, as
fostered by the doctors, and the fear of the law,
as disseminated by lawyers, have created a fog
of fear that has permeated us like a miasma,
and cut human life short one-third, causing
the brain to reel and rock at a time when it
should be the serene and steadfast pilot of
our lives.

"What then," you ask, "Shall we go back to
savagery?"

And my answer is, No, we must, and will, and
are, going on, on to Enlightenment.

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HEALTH AND WEALTH

THOSE WHO LIVE BY THE HAMMER SHALL
DIE BY THE HAMMER

The Gentle Art of Knocking

SATAN was once a man. Later he evolved
into a God and dwelt in Paradise. There
must have been a time when he was
worthy of trust and affection, otherwise the
Almighty would never have allowed him to
enter Heaven.

But Satan was of a peculiar disposition. He had
the "artistic temperament," which is to say, he
was moody, irritable, fault-finding, and a good
deal of the time idle. Instead of trying to remedy
the weak points of Paradise, he merely pointed
them out and harangued about them to all who
would listen.

And Satan still finds mischief for idle hands to
do. It was the same then — Satan would neither
tune harps, launder the robes, nor polish the
pavement which was made of gold and precious
stones <£• &

It took a lot of labor and a deal of skill to set
these paving stones, but while the workers were
at it, Satan would sit on the curb and make sport

HEALTH AND WEALTH

of them. When the Almighty came around to
see how things were getting along, Satan would
whisper unkind things about Him after He had
passed, and kick about how severe He was in
discipline «jt <£*

The Almighty warned Satan from time to time
to get busy, but his answer was, "I am!"
"Sure enough," replied the Almighty, "but at
the wrong thing. "

They tried to get Satan to lead the Choral So
ciety and break in the new arrivals, some of
whom sang slightly off-key.
"I teach those jays? Why they have no voice
— they only have a disease. You should never
have let them in — what this place needs is a
new gatekeeper who has nerve with him, and
can direct the wrong applicant where to go!
No, I '11 not lead your orchestra; and anyway,
I am drilling a little class of my own and have
no time: I am organizing an Anvil Chorus."
It was no use — Satan would not do what he was
told. He always knew a better way, and he
sneered at every plan for a heavenly better
ment that he did not himself suggest. And he
suggested precious few, and these he could not

49

HEALTH AND WEALTH

carry out. ^f There was only one thing that
interested him and that was the Anvil Chorus.
When the saints sang Hallelujahs, Satan would
start up his favorite instrument and pound. He
was n't industrious in anything but knocking.
If Finally he had gotten so many people believing
that the anvil was really sweeter than the harp,
that the Almighty lost patience.
And when it was discovered that Satan had
started a factory to make hammer-handles, the
Almighty decided to fire him bodily.
So the word was passed along, and the saints
quietly tucked their robes in their belts and
made a rush for Mister Satan and his band of
Knockers & &

It was soon over. Satan was shot out of Heaven
like a rubber ball from a wooden cannon.
Milton says he fell for two weeks.
When he finally reached earth he called him
self the D'Evil, and boasted of being a prince
— a dispossessed prince.

He would never have been so proud if the theo
logians had not paid him so much attention ^
The preachers, while publicly warning their

flocks to shun him, were secretly hobnobbing
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HEALTH AND WEALTH

with him a good deal of the time. ^f Then the play
wrights and poets admired him and secretly
affected him, and wove him into literature, and
all this tended to turn his head.
But now the preachers, for the most part,
have denied him, and literature has cut his
acquaintance. He is no longer popular. Where
he is and what he does is nothing to us.
The Devil is a dead one.
MORAL: An idle god evolves into a devil.

IF ANYTHING Is SACRED, THE HUMAN BODY
Is SACRED. AND IN MAN OR WOMAN, A CLEAN,
STRONG, FIRM-FIBRED BODY Is MORE BEAUTI
FUL THAN THE MOST FASCINATING FACE.

In Re Muldoon

PROFESSOR WILLIAM MULDOON
—Muldoon the Solid Man! Muldoon
the champion wrestler of the world!
I have taken a few falls out of him in days
agone — in a literary way — and what I will now
say, I will say.

Muldoon has been pronounced by competent
judges a perfect physical specimen of manhood.

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HEALTH AND WEALTH

Not one man in a million can compare with him;
and age, intelligence and physique considered,
he probably is without a rival on earth.
He is exactly five feet ten, and weighs stripped,
one hundred and eighty. He gives you a glimpse
of Greece in the time of Pericles.
He has more dignity, more repose, more poise,
than any man has expressed since Phidias
modeled and Praxiteles carved.
He talks but little: he listens until the other
man has talked himself out — his is a waiting
game jt &

Knowing something of the traditions of the
squared circle, you expect he will speak in a
husky gutteral, and say, "I trun him down —
see!"

But this man surprises you with a light, musi
cal, exquisitely modulated voice that comes
from resonant air chambers, and a throat with
out a flaw.

It is a voice whose whispered word can fill a
room; a voice that can ring out a calvary com
mand that can be heard for half a mile.
If needs be, it is a voice that could talk all day
and never grow weak nor hoarse.
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HEALTH ANDWEALTH

Muldoon has no suggestion of a foreign accent,
and I will admit that a man by the name of Mul
doon who has no brogue is a bit disappointing.
Every action of the man implies reserve ; every
thing he does is well within his limit.
When he sits he does not cross his legs, play the
devil's tattoo with his hands, twirl his mus
tache, stroke his hair, scratch his nose, adjust
his necktie, nor examine his finger-nails. He
completes his toilet in his room.
Such control of nerves, such perfect self-pos
session, such absolute grace — clothed or stripped
— gives hope that the spirit of Athens may yet
to us return.

"I think," said Professor Muldoon to me, "I
think my success — such as it is — as a trainer,
has hinged on the fact that I have never worked
for great muscular strength, simply for balance,
or what you call mastery or control. Few men
possess their bodies, rather the body bullies the
mind all day long. "

Please note the remark, and tell me if the col
leges have n't something to learn from Muldoon.
In fact, why does n't Harvard hire him ?
And the answer is, the services of Muldoon are

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HEALTH AND WEALTH

not for sale, save as you go to him and become
a part of his system.

MTJLDOON is rich, and he works now
simply because he is wise and knows
that no man can ever afford to be idle — that
retiring on your laurels is death — unless you
are working for new laurels. So Muldoon works
at the task he likes, and in the way that pleases
him ^ jfc

When a youth he began to train as a wrestler;
he evolved an Idea, and this Idea is that the
mind of a man should rule his body, that the
body should obey the mind.
And after nearly fifty years of work in physical
training, there is only one word which for him
looms large, and that is the word OBEY.
Muldoon made his body obey, and he became
perfectly ambidextrous & Wrestling requires
more science than boxing, and so he specialized
on the mat instead of the gloves.
Then he took to training prize-fighters.
Members of the Society for Ethical Culture will
recall that Muldoon trained Sullivan for his
match with Kilrain, and acted as Sullivan's

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HEALTH AND WEALTH

second at the ringside. John gave the sedative
to every man he met as long as he was trained
by Muldoon.

For a time the Solid Man succeeded in making
John L. obey, but finally John L. decided that
in all the bright lexicon of words there is no such
word as obedience. Then it was that John fell
an easy prey to Corbett, who weighed thirty
pounds less, but had his body under control,
so that it was the ready and willing servant of
his mind.

A little later, Muldoon traveled with Maurice
Barrymore and played the part of Charles the
Wrestler in "As You Like It," always giving a
genuine exhibition for the ladies before Charles
graciously allowed Orlando to win.
Next he posed in living pictures, and gave lec
tures on health in various colleges. Ten years
ago he established his present "Olympia,"
five miles back in the hills from White Plains,
New York.

Prize-fighters, wrestlers and athletes are no
longer the object of Muldoon's solicitude; his
raw stock are business men, artists, lawyers,
preachers and doctors who have gone the pace.

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HEALTH AND WEALTH

If Muldoon has a system, a system never tried
by any one else, and that never will be tried
by any one else, because no other living man
dare attempt it, knowing perfectly well it would
fail e£& <£•

And if you know a thing is going to fail, it does.
Muldoon's system is not founded on love, kind
ness and good cheer. These are all secondary,
and while they do exist in his mind, they are kept
carefully out of sight. The plan will die with
him Jt> <£

THE key-note of the whole thing is obedi
ence. It is necessary to subjugate the will
of the patient. Paradoxically, you have to kill a
man's will in order to build it up.
The whip-method of breaking horses is along
the same line. The trainer goes into the box stall
with a whip and terrorizes the animal until he
absolutely submits, and yet the horse is never
struck ^ *£

Muldoon is cruel only as Nature is cruel — you
obey Nature, co-operate with her and you find
that she is kind. Obedience to Nature brings
you everything you need, mental, spiritual,
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HEALTH AND WEALTH

physical. Obey Muldoon and cease butting-in
with your stub-end of a will and you succeed.
The only way you can get the start of Muldoon
is to obey him. To obey requires will power ^t
The average man's body has never learned to
obey. It is slothful, lazy, slipshod, domineering,
indifferent, disrespectful to his mind.
A man may have a creative intellect, and yet
his body be a very wretch of a body, that gorges
itself with bad food, swills strange drinks,
refuses to go to bed at night, and declines to
get up in the morning, wooing persistently the
means of debility and disease.
A great poet may be swag-bellied, blear-eyed
and have title to a slouching, willful, erratic,
untrained digestive tract. The man has never
forced his body to acquire good habits thru the
law of obedience, and after years of bodily back-
talk, things reach a point where this hoodlum of
a physical cosmos is going down and dragging
the mind with it.

As long as the man can do business, he submits
to being bullied by his body. All sorts of vicious
habits grow up unrebuked. The body demands
cigars, cigarettes, stimulants, strange dishes,

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HEALTH AND WEALTH

novel sights, smells, sounds and sensations, and
the mind of the man is powerless, being dragged
hither and yon by this willful restless beast,
which often grows more gross and inefficient
and full of twitchings, twists and pain as the
mind evolves, develops and refines. Thought
goes on, and the man may do big work, but
some day the hand that reaches for the salt
picks up the pepper, and the tongue that would
say "pepper," says "salt."
The nerve-specialist is here called in, scowls,
coughs, takes an owl-like look, and explains that
it is incipient locomotor ataxia, with aphasia
as a side line, all caused through poisoning of
the system by uric acid — say, call it Bright's
Disease and Nerv. Pros.

If the patient knows enough, as he probably
does not, he goes to Muldoon and is born again.
But probably he takes to dope and drugs and
dies inside of two years. Or he may haunt Hot
Springs and the sanitariums, and by baths and
massage stand the reaper off for five years.
Tuberculosis is a disease of the will ^ If a
stronger will can be found that will take charge

of the other man's body at the critical time, and
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HEALTH AND WEALTH

force right breathing, eating and exercise on the
patient, he will get well. Left to himself he suc
cumbs to inertia or a lazy habit of body, the air
cells of the lungs collapse and the man dies JL
Muldoon says that all diseases are the result of
lack of will. He simply takes charge of the man's
body. His one request is that the man abdicate
his own will and obey. So difficult is obedience
to the average so-called successful man, that
one out of three of the patients who go to Mul
doon leave him inside of two days, forfeiting
their first weekly payment of sixty dollars.
If Muldoon has an opportunity of seeing the
discouraged and disgruntled man before he
goes, he presents the card of a local undertaker
at White Plains, wishes him good luck in purga
tory and sends personal regards to Mephisto.
Those who stick it out for three days under
Muldoon's treatment, remain from three to
six weeks, and get well. There may be excep
tions, but this is the general rule.

MULDOON'S treatment goes under the
general term of "dope," and the formula
is about as follows :

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HEALTH AND WEALTH

You arrive at the long, plain, Quaker-gray
shingled house on the hill, after a pleasant
drive of an hour from the station at White
Plains e£& e^

Muldoon receives you with the quiet dignity
of a Chesterfield. You are impressed by the
man, only you wish he would thaw out and
sympathize with you. Later you ascertain that
Muldoon does not effuse over anybody, even
over a member of the Supreme Court of the
United States.

In five minutes Muldoon's quick eyes have
looked you over and he has* decided that you
have enough vitality to build on — parties in
wheeled chairs or those requiring surgical
treatment never find Muldoon at home.
So you are accepted. You are gently told that
you cannot have any visitors, either doctors or
laymen, and that books, medicine and stimu
lants are tabu. The suggestion seems a trifle
curt, but you submit, and then and there bid
your friends good-bye.

You watch their carriage as it slowly circles
down the hill, and is lost amid the towering

elms ^ ^
60

HEALTH AND WEALTH

The first move is to interview the secretary —
he being the only person in sight.
You pay the genial young man your first week's
board of sixty dollars: this advance payment
being a part of the dope, a necessary psycholog
ical item in the work of regeneration.
You are given a heavy woolen sweater, a gray
pair of gymnasium trousers and a pair of felt
slippers. Then you are shown to your room and
told to put on this suit and go below where the
Professor will see you.

Your room is furnished with a little table, one
chair, and a small iron bed. All toilet requisites
are noticeable by their absence. The room looks
like a cell, save that there are two open doors,
one opening right out-of-doors and the other
leading to the hall that runs the length of the
building. These rooms, you learn, are known as
"kennels." You note that there are no locks nor
bolts on the doors, and if you are a cosmic, it
comes to you that the insignificant matter of
ventilation evidently is not in the hands of the
occupant ^fc ^

You sit down on the bed and think about noth
ing in particular, rather enjoying the view out

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HEALTH AND WEALTH

of the open door, listening to the drowsy hum
of bees, and the summer wind in the locusts &
You have about concluded to lie down on the
little bed and take a nap, when an athletic youth
in a sweater puts his head in the door and says,
"The Professor is waiting for you." And then
adds half confidentially, "It's all right if you
mind him, but you ought to have changed your
clothes at once and not lingered here. "
You murmur excuses and get into the convict's
clothes in less time than you usually take to
dress. You look about for a mirror to ascertain
how frightful you appear. No mirror is to be
seen jfc ^

You go down stairs and enter the gymnasium.
The Professor is there in gym dress, putting a
class of a dozen thru a course of callisthenics.
1f Then occurs exactly what occurred when
Chauncey M. Depew entered the same room
under like conditions six weeks before.
The senator was yellow; there were dark baggy
lines under his eyes, but the gymnasium dress
into which he had packed his senatorial person
offered an excuse for art. He approached the

Professor and proffered a small pliocene pleas-
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HEALTH AND WEALTH

antry. The Professor replied, "Sir, sit down,"

in a low, clear, distinct tone.

Depew's punning proclivity vanished. He had

really expected that the Professor would slap

his thigh and roar, as people in civilization were

wont when the nectarine spoke, or at least smile

and ask after things down in Washington. And

all the Professor said was, "Sir, sit down," and

went right along with his callisthenics.

"Right foot — left foot — right arm — left — up,

back, down, over, out — neck to the left ! "

The Senator moved over to the window, looked

out, strolled down to the end of the gym. The

class was working down that way, too.

"Sir, sit down!" suddenly calls the voice of the

Professor jfc jfc

The Senator is sure the voice is not for him, no

one had ever spoken to him like that. He still

strolls jfc jfc

Now comes the third order with the Professor

walking toward him, "Mr. Depew, sit down!"

pointing to a seat along the wall.

The Senator is startled, then he half laughs as

it comes to him that it is a joke, and he replies,

"Oh, I prefer to stand, thank you."

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The fourth time the order rings out and
Depew realizes that it is no joke. He jumps,
shivers and stammers, "Well, I would have
you know that I am a gentleman, and am
used to associating with gentlemen ^t You
evidently do not know me — I am Senator
Depew."

"I know," says Muldoon with exasperating
coolness, "I know you, but evidently you do
not know me. You seemingly have come here
to give an after-dinner speech, to present a lec
ture on Delsarte, or to favor me with lessons in
etiquette— SIT DO WN !"
This time the order comes like a knock-down
blow, and Depew sinks upon the seat and sits
there dazed like a boy awaiting punishment for
stealing jam from a high shelf.
The Professor calmly continues his work with
the class for five minutes, and then orders
Depew upon the floor and motions him his
place in the line.
"Hands straight up!"
Depew puts his out in front.
"Hands straight up!" rings out the order for
the second time. Depew makes haste to comply.
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work is really quite moderate, but the
newcomer thinks it is severe, and is greatly
relieved when in half an hour the order is
given, "To the shower-bath!"
Arriving there, all disrobe save the Senator,
but when the stern order is given to " Get into
the game," he begins to struggle with his
sweater and is soon in the gentle guise of
Correggio's cherubim.

Men in gym suits are all on an equality. Car-
lyle said, "A naked House of Lords would
inspire no awe," but all he meant was that a
Senator under a shower-bath would command
no senatorial courtesy.

A rough towel is tossed to each man and
Depew is simply told to " Get busy ! "
And he does, for it has dawned upon him that
safety lies either in flight or obedience.
Supper comes and after that there is a long
stroll across the meadow, over the hills and
back thru the woods, along the country road.
If The western sky is colored deep with red
where the sun has gone down. Over across the
moor, a half mile away, the white mist is gather
ing. The summer night closes down, and the

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HEALTH AND WEALTH

distant woods turn to purple patches. f The
strolling party reach the long, low house on
the hill-top, just as the clock in the kitchen is
striking nine.

The Senator is told he can go to bed. No order
is required. He finds his room, undresses with
out a light, puts on a woolen night-robe that he
finds on the bedpost and tumbles into bed, sub
dued, tired and a bit resentful.
He has decided to go home on the morrow — the
system is too severe. But before he can really
formulate his plans he is asleep, lulled by the
lowing of distant cattle.

SIX o'clock! "It is the mild voice of the
athletic attendant.

At six-ten the attendant once more calls, this
time in a chest-tone.

At six-fifteen, he returns with a bucket of water,
that he is told to douse on the victim of Mrs.
Morpheus without ruth. It is not necessary, the
victim is cosmic, and struggles out on the floor,
making a dive for duds.

"Sleep is a privilege," says Muldoon, "and
when this truth is once fixed in a man's mind,

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HEALTH AND WEALTH

he gets busy pounding his ear the instant he

gets a chance. "

Insomnia never comes to a man who has to get

up exactly at six o'clock. Insomnia troubles only

those who can sleep any time.

People who live on the banks of the Ganges

never bathe, because they can bathe any time.

H To go to bed at a certain hour and to get up

at a certain hour means the cultivation of a

habit of the body. This habit puts you to bed,

tucks you in, and softly sings you a lullaby that

closes down your eyelids, bidding dull care

begone & *£

Muldoon holds that it is just as necessary to get

up in the morning as to go to bed at night.

DOWN below, the twenty-four men have
gathered — for be it known that Muldoon
takes one score and four, and no more. There
are light callisthenics, a march of a half mile
and back, then the shower-bath.
All this with great deliberation. The victims
are given bathrobes, and told to go up-stairs,
and clothe them in their right minds and citi
zens' clothes.

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HEALTH AND WEALTH

Muldoon is a great believer in the psychology
of duds. When we eat we should dress like
gentlemen, just as if we were to meet expected
guests. The act of dressing and undressing tends
to stop brooding, and masticating the mental
limit. The late Dr. Maurice Bucke once told
me that he had blocked a fit of hysteria in a
woman, by asking her to go and change her
dress, and do up her hair, because he wanted
her to meet a certain man from New York who
was coming to tea.

Muldoon says the gym dress is only valuable
as you discard it for clean, dainty linen, and
appear before the world a new man. You get
dirty in order that you may get clean, but to get
dirty and stay so is no virtue. But people who
are always clean are not much better than the
other kind.

And note you this, Muldoon trains with his
trainers. All that he asks them to do, he does.
He himself, is an immaculate dresser, without
being extravagant. But he believes in a clean
collar, cuffs, a fresh handkerchief and dental
floss jt jt
Breakfast comes after the gentle work, the

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HEALTH AND WE A L T H

bath, and the getting ready, as a gift of the gods.
It is a simple meal of fruit, toast, poached eggs,
and just one cup of coffee. I noticed that every
man polished his plate, but no one asked for
more ^ ^

Muldoon sits at the server's table in the middle
of the room, and each plate is filled under his
immediate watchful eye. Without being fussy,
he yet knows exactly what every man is doing
— all of the time.

The eating is done with great deliberation.
After breakfast, there is rest for just an hour,
and then the word is passed, "Boots and sad
dles!"

You get into your riding clothes, and go to the
barn a quarter of a mile away. If you are a
horseman, your animal is simply pointed out,
but if the work is new, you are shown how.
Horseback riding is always a scientific treat
ment for the neurotic. He forgets himself in
holding on — and most of Muldoon's horses, I
saw, were selected with the idea of preventing
introspection in the rider. It is a slow ride of
two hours and a half. Occasionally, at the hills,
you dismount and lead your horse.

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HEALTH AND WEALTH

One little pleasantry is occasionally indulged in

when there are raw recruits who are prone to be

gay. You leave your horses in charge of a groom

and walk down a hill through the woods to get

a drink at a famous medicinal spring.

When you get back to the road, not a horse is in

sight — they have broken loose and gone home.

^f It is five miles to quarters — my God! or

words to that effect.

Here the stout men, new to the work, begin to

plead, to beg, to swear — the veterans laugh and

start off on foot.

When you get home it is strip again and a bath;

then citizens' clothes and dinner.

After dinner there is a lolling time of an hour;

then "the stroll," a long slow walk, over the

meadow, through the woods, across the creek.

Tf Supper comes with the novitiate hungry as a

bear, and tired. Exhaustion is something else.

^f Then it is that the deserters desert. They

bribe a stable man to take them back to town

— in a wheelbarrow — any way. The work is

killing — Muldoon is a tyrant!

But if they remain two days, they stay two more,

and then Nature begins to play through them.
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HEALTH AND WEALTH

Tired, lame, sore, stupid — yes, but it is a deli
cious stupidity, not one of fear and cold feet. It
is just a don't-give-a-dam-feeling.
A certain amount of physical exercise excites
mentality; follow up your out-door work, and
mind hibernates. Exercise is an investment —
you expend the energy only that you may get
back more energy. You spend a hundred dol
lars to get back one hundred and fifty.
All this physical work is to get your body where
it can rest and absorb.

The body is a storage battery — in order to
replenish its cells with potential energy, you
have to get it in a state of rest. This condition
of perfect rest comes best after slow, moderate
exercise in the open air.

Muldoon simply carries his men over the hill to
a point where they are so tired they can rest and
absorb. He knows exactly what he is doing — he
nearly kills them, but strangely enough, none
die on the premises. Those only die who lack
the will to allow him to use his will to amend
theirs, and these of course are the deserters ^
If It is so much easier to swallow something out

of a bottle, and hire a man to give you massage.

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HEALTH AND WEALTH

If But everything costs — if you would have
health, cultivate your will and expend energy.
We know enough, and if we only had the will
to methodize our lives, we could all live a hun
dred years, unless run over by a benzine buggy.
As it is, for lack of will and lack of a Muldoon,
we die just when we should be getting ready to
live. Great is Muldoon, trainer of men!

HELP YOURSELF BY HELPING OTHERS

The Down-and-Outer

LITTLE hotels often feature their clerks.
Small tailors proudly put forth their
cutters. But a big business is built by
many earnest men working together for one
common end and aim. It is planned by one
man, but is carried forward by many.
A steamship is manned by a crew, and no one
particular sailor is necessary. You can replace
any man in the engine room of the Furst Bis
marck, and she will cross the ocean in less than
six days, just the same.

In an enterprise that amounts to anything, all
transactions should be in the name of the firm,
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HEALTH AND WEALTH

because the firm is more than any person con
nected with it. Clerks or salesmen who have
private letter-heads, and ask customers to send
letters to them personally, are on the wrong
track ^ e^

To lose your identity in the business is one of
the penalties of working for a great institution.
Don't protest — it is no new thing — all big con
cerns are confronted by the same situation-
Get in line ! It is a necessity.
If you want to do business individually and in
your own name, stay in the country or do busi
ness for yourself. Peanut stands are individual
istic; when the peanut man goes, the stand also
croaks. Successful corporations are something
else «jil ^t

Of course the excuse is that if you send me the
order direct, I, knowing you and your needs,
can take much better care of your wants than
that despised and intangible thing, "the house. "
Besides, sending it thru the Circumlocution
Office takes time.

There is something more to say ^t First, long
experience has shown that "the saving of time"
is exceedingly problematic. For while in some

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HEALTH AND WEALTH

instances a rush order can be gotten off the
same night by sending it to an individual, yet
when your individual has gone fishing, is at the
ball game, or is sick, or else given up his job
and gone with the opposition house, there are
great and vexatious delays, dire confusions and
a strain on vocabularies.

This thing of a salesman carrying his trade with
him, and considering the customers of the house
his personal property, is the thought of only 2x4
men. A house must have a certain fixed policy
— a reputation for square dealing — otherwise it
could not exist at all. It could not even give
steady work and good pay to the men who
think it would be only a hole in the ground
without them.

In the main, the policy of the house is right.
Don't acquire the habit of butting in with your
stub-end of a will in opposition to the general
policy of the house. To help yourself, get in line
with your house, stand by it, take pride in it,
respect it, uphold it, and regard its interests as
yours. The men who do this become the only
ones who are really necessary jfc They are the
Top-notchers — Hundred-pointers. The worst

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HEALTH AND WEALTH

about the other plan is that it ruins the man
who undertakes it. For a little while, to do a
business of your own in the shadow of the big
one, is beautiful — presents come, personal let
ters, invitations, favors, is Mr. Johnson in ! By
and by Johnson gets chesty ; he resents it when
other salesmen wait on his customers or look
after his mail. Re begins to plot for personal
gain, and the first thing you know he is a plain
grafter, at loggerheads with his colleagues, with
the interests of the house secondary to his own.
^f We must grow towards the house, and with
it, not away from it. Any policy which lays an
employee open to temptation, or tends to turn
his head, causing him to lose sight of his own
best interests, seizing at a small present better
ment and losing the great advantage of a life's
business, is bad. The open cash-drawer, valua
ble goods lying around not recorded or inven
toried, free and easy responsibility, good enough
plans, and let-'er-go policies, all tend to ruin
men just as surely as do cigarettes, booze, paste
board and the races.

The man who thinks he owns "his trade," and
threatens to walk out and take other employees

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HEALTH AND WEALTH

and customers with him, is slated to have his
dream come true. The manager gives in — the
individualist is then sure he is right — the en
larged ego grows, and some day, the house
simply takes his word for it, and out he goes.
The down-and-outer heads off his mail at the
post-office, and for some weeks embarrasses
customers, delays trade and more or less con
fuses system, but a month or two smooths
things out, and he is forgotten absolutely. The
steamship plows right along.
Our egotist gets a new job, only to do it all over
again if he can. This kind of a man seldom
learns. When he gets a job, he soon begins to
correspond with rival firms for a better one,
with intent to take his "good- will" along.
The blame should go back to the first firm
where he was employed, that allowed him a
private letter-head, and let him get filled with
the fallacy that he was doing business on his
own account, thus losing sight of the great
truth that we win thru co-operation and not
thru segregation or separation. The firm's
interests are yours; if you think otherwise,

you are already on the slide.
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HEALTH AND WEALTH

The only man who should be given full swing
and unlimited power is the one who can neither
resign nor run away when the crash comes, but
who has to stick and face the deficit, and shoul
der the disgrace of failure. All who feel free to
hike whenever the weather gets thick would do
well to get in line with the policy of the house.
TJ The weak point in Marxian Socialism is that it
plans to divide benefits, but does not say who
shall take care of deficits. It relieves everybody
of the responsibility of failure and defeat. And
just remember this, unless somebody assumes
the responsibility of defeat there will be no
benefits to distribute. Also this, that the man
who is big enough to be a Somebody is also
willing to be a nobody.

EVERYBODY SHOULD REMEMBER TO FORGET

Jealousy a Disease

ON the railroad station platform at
Ashtabula the other day, a Division
Superintendent in the employ of the
"Lake Shore," asked me, "Do you know the
cause of most railway accidents?" "What

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HEALTH AN D W E A L T H

causes most accidents ? Why, the disobedience
of orders," I answered.

"No, it is domestic infelicity. You say, * diso
bedience of orders,' and this is partially right,
but the cause lies deeper. Why should a rail
way employee disobey orders ? Why should an
engineer run past the station when he is ordered
to stop ? It is his own life he endangers most.
Why should a train-despatcher send out two
trains facing each other at the same time on one
track? Or why does a switch-tender throw a
switch right in front of a fast express ?
"People call these things accidents, but that is
not the word — they are the result of mental
conditions. And it is for the General Manager
to be on the lookout for these conditions and
every good railroad manager now is. Do you
remember when two passenger-trains met head
on, out in Indiana, last year ? The engineer of
one of these trains had in his pocket an order to
take the side-track at a certain station. He ran by
that station at fifty miles an hour, and in five
minutes there was a crash that snuffed out fifty-
four lives and two hundred thousand dollars'

worth of property.
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HEALTH AND WEALTH

"I knew the engineer. Let us call him Hank
Bristol, for that was n't his name. He was
married to a smashing, dashing, beautiful
creature, and they boarded at a hotel — had
no children. I boarded there, too, and we all
made eyes at Hank's dashing wife. She used
to play the piano and sing a little, and recite.
The love of one plain, honest man was not
enough for her — she craved the admiration of
the clever. She was n't a bad woman, just an
idle one who spent every spare cent Hank made
on finery, and who of course, wanted the finery
and herself to be admired. Hank w7as proud of
her, too. One evening he kissed the dear woman
good-bye and started out to make a night run.
He went out to the roundhouse and at the last
moment the Old Man decided to save Hank
back and let him take out a special carrying
the President and Directors of the road in the
morning. Hank was tickled — it was a great
compliment to him. He went home to tell his
wife; he used to tell her everything.
"But when he got home, she wasn't there — she
had gone to the theatre with a boot and shoe
drummer from Chicago.

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HEALTH AND WEALTH

"Hank went away and walked the streets till
morning — his wife never knew, and I believe
she does n't yet. He walked the streets all night
and ran out the special in the morning.
" But after that he was never the same. He used
to confide in me — he just had to tell some one
to keep his heart from bursting with suppressed
grief jt ejt

"He grew absent-minded, lost flesh, appetite
was gone, was nervous — the doctor said he
should quit coffee and cut out half the tobacco.
1[" I knew what was the matter — he was jealous.
I told him so — and he laughed a laugh that gave
me goose-flesh. 'I jealous ? Why, Bill, you don't
know me — I jealous ? The idea!' No, I'm only
mad at myself, Bill, because I'm married to a
damn fool of a woman, who makes my heart
eat itself out with grief because she lives on the
fringe of folly. Why don't I leave her! My God!
Bill, that is the trouble — I can't — I love her!'
"Hank did n't work on our road or I'd never
have let him touch a throttle, no, not even if
he'd been my brother. I knew it would come.
He was found under his engine, the order that

he had disobeyed in his pocket, and a picture
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HEALTH AND WEALTH

in his watch of the woman that had caused the
disaster. No, it probably has never dawned on
this woman that she caused the wreck. She
wore deep mourning and the cutest little black
bonnet with a white ruche. She was the most
fetching widow you ever saw and she knew it
without being told.

"Yes, that is what I said — marital infelicity
is responsible for the railroad wrecks, and
causes most of the others, too.
"The only safe man is the one whose heart is
at rest — who has a home, and a wife who stays
there and minds her business, looks after the
babies, has no secrets, and does not make eyes
at other men — that's the kind! I know every
man who works for me, and I know a disturbed,
distressed and jealous man a train length awTay.
My heart bleeds for 'em, but I serve the pub
lic, and none such can run an engine for me jt
"Do you see that man in the blue overalls down
there at the end of the platform ? Well, he is the
engineer who will take out this train. See how
calm, satisfied and self-possessed he is; he has
no cares, no anxieties beyond the desire to do
his work well. He is not so awfully brilliant, but

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HEALTH AND WEALTH

he will never disappoint you. Now, when we
start, about two miles out, you will hear the
engine give three soft toots, and over to the left,
a little woman will come out of a white cottage
and wave her apron. "

The conductor then called, "All aboard!" The
bell clanged warningly — we stepped into the
coach, and the train started. We had now
reached the outskirts of the town, and were
skimming along at the rate of thirty miles an
hour & &

The engine gave three soft, short toots, and I
saw the white cottage, a woman standing on
the back porch, with children holding on her
skirts all 'round — she was waving a big check
apron !

" What did I tell you ? " asked the Superintend
ent — "rest reigns in that man's heart — he will
never forget an order — his mind is free, so he
does his work! He is at peace with himself, and
at peace with the world. "

I am going to write a little here on the subject
of jealousy. There is only one kind of jealousy,
and that is Sex Jealousy. People often use the

word when the thing they refer to is covetous-
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HEALTH AND WEALTH

ness. We may covet a man's talent, or his pos
sessions, or we may dislike a person — conceiv
ing against him a prejudice and thus belittle
him; but jealousy is another matter. Jealousy
is not the exclusive possession of the highly
organized, nor the extremely sensitive, nor the
irritable, nor the weak. The fact is, the strong
est natures are more given to jealousy than the
weaker ones, and the most patient man may
manifest the disease in its most virulent form.
Shakespeare, who knew the human heart as no
other writer ever has, gives us a picture of jeal
ousy. The play of Othello is simply a portrayal
of this passion. And the man Othello is surely
not a man afflicted with "nerves"— he is a
great, serene, and self-sufficient personality. He
is healthy, honest, trustful, truthful, and filled
with a childlike confidence.
But Othello is a man — a strong, well-sexed
man. Beware how you arouse such a one!
Othello's intellect was no match for the cold,
calculating brain of lago, and he was played
upon by this plotting, soulless knave until his
love for Desdemona was curdled into hate, and
he killed that which, in all the world, he loved

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HEALTH AND WEALTH

best, ^f Only the strongly sexed are ever jealous.
Weak natures are indifferent — they transfer
affection easily — there isn't much to bestow —
the change is easily effected, and the past for
gotten. But the strong give themselves, and the
bonds they make are fastened to their souls
with hoops of steel. Love, to such, is no light
matter.

Jealousy seems the absolute reversal of love.
It is the swinging from the sunny warmth of
the equator to the frigid cold of the north pole.
I once saw a woman in a ballroom, calmly
seated and chatting pleasantly, her face aglow
with good-will and the genial warmth of life. A
waltz was being played, and the couples glided
past us in mazy, dreamy rhythm.
"How beautiful it all is," she said to me.
And as she said the words, two dancers swung
by in close embrace, evidently conversing,
their faces near together.

The woman talking to me started to rise, but
sank back. The color faded away from her lips,
her eyes changed their hue, the eyeballs seemed
glazed, her breath came in hot, feverish gasps.
I spoke to her, and she started, absent-mindedly,
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HEALTH AND WEALTH

but did not hear what I said. Over her fine face
came a look of abject woe. An a\vful pain was
clutching at her heart ; and she tried to hide her
anguish with a smile, but the smile was only a
grimace, a sorrowful substitute, and it seemed
to freeze upon her face, Medusa-like.
"Call my carriage — I am ill," she said huskily.
Later, I learned that the woman had reached
her home, gone to her room, locked the door,
thrown herself upon the bed, and at seven
o'clock the next morning had been found there,
fully robed in all her ballroom finery, moaning
and groaning, half delirious. She was undressed
and put to bed by her maids, and a physician
summoned.

"A kind of typhoid fever, caused by drinking
impure water," said the doctor, and cited sev
eral other similar cases that had occurred in the
neighborhood. It was fully six weeks before the
woman was able to be oirt of her house again ^t
The jealous spasm that had come over the lady
was caused by the sight of her husband dancing
with a certain woman. He might dance writh any
other woman — but not that woman — he had

promised he would not !

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HEALTH AND WEALTH

The sight stifled every generous emotion of her
soul, and if she had had the power, she would
have blasted the man and woman dead at her
feet. Did she have any real "cause" for jeal
ousy ? I do not know — probably not. Othello
had no cause for jealousy. Reasons light as air
are, to the jealous, confirmation strong as Holy
Writ. But the husband who caused his wife this
awful pain might have been simply stupid and
innocent; he might have been malicious and
purposeful in his act; or he might have been
guilty and indifferent. I do not know. All that I
relate is the phenomena.

Some months ago, in Cincinnati, a colored
sleeping-car porter was arrested for attempting
to kill his wife. He was slashing her with a razor,
and doubtless would have killed her had not
help arrived at the minute. She was taken to the
hospital, he to jail. The doctors said the woman
could not live, and after binding up her wounds
and making her as comfortable as possible, a
notary was summoned to take the woman's
ante-mortem testimony. And this was her state
ment: "My husband was jealous of me, and
tried to kill me; but it was my fault — I pur-

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HEALTH AND WEALTH

posely made him jealous by pretending I loved
another man. When I told him this, he became
crazy — it was all my fault — bring him here, so
I may know before I die that he has forgiven

me."

The doctor in charge went to the police judge
the next day and gave it as his opinion that if
the prisoner was released and went to the hospi
tal to help nurse the woman, she would recover;
but if the man was punished and separated
from the woman, she would certainly languish
and die.

The judge decided to do an unjudicial thing,
and released the prisoner on his own recogni
zance. The man went to the hospital, remained
there as a helper to the nurses, and inside of a
month he and the woman went away with the
blessings and the good will of everybody in the
place, happy — happier than ever before.
So much for a case where people of very lowly
intellect are involved. They lived on the same
plane and were mated. Let us now have an
instance where one of the intellectual giants of
the earth was concerned, and the woman one
who was utterly out of his class.

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When thirty-two years of age, Goethe had a
misunderstanding with Charlotte von Stein,
to whom he had written a daily love-letter for
eleven years. He now very coldly made a bar
gain with the father of Christine Vulpius, that
the girl should come and keep house for him.
The girl, it seems, was not consulted. She was
just twenty, and pink — an obliging, good-
natured, strong, buxom country lass.
She took charge of Goethe's household, did
what she was ordered to do, and was never in
evidence unless he invited. The guests and
callers never saw her.

After some months, when Goethe met Char
lotte von Stein at a reception, and she coldly
asked — "Ah, and how is the health of Miss
Vulpius?" she probed the proud Goethe to
the quick.

Goethe grew to be very fond of Christine — she
was so obedient, so faithful, so loyal ! She never
thwarted her master, taunted him, nor annoyed
him — she just served him. To be sure, she took
no interest in his writings, and this was better
than if she had been a little higher in the scale,
and sought to rival him in literature.

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But the day came when her father thought it
would be better for her to have a husband than
to be the mistress of a poet, and he brought a
worthy yeoman of her own class to see her. The
swain came to see Christine, and Goethe, the
proud and dignified, who had never felt the
pangs of jealousy, was stung and wrung and
wounded to his heart's core. His appetite van
ished — his nights were sleepless. The swain
came back a second time, and Wolfgang Goethe
threw him bodily into the street, causing him
such a panic that he ran for his life, and never
again returned.

After living with "Miss Vulpius" for twenty
years, Goethe married her, "in order that their
children might be legitimate." A man's acts
are usually right, but his reasons seldom are.
Goethe married this woman because he loved
her, and he wished to prove it to her beyond
the ghost of a doubt. To be sure, they lived in
a different intellectual world, but there was
another world in which they met as equals ^
Call their relationship base if you will — that
question is not up for discussion at this time.

Goethe was at times jealous of this woman —

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she had grown to be a part of his life — she min
istered to his well-being, and to secure her more
fully to himself, he proclaimed to all the world
that he had made her his legal wife.
I once heard Dr. James Bryce Howard, lec
turer on Pathology at Bellevue, make a state
ment to the effect that cancer was caused by
jealousy. His argument was something like this :
Jealousy at once affects the circulation, and the
emotion strikes at the organs of reproduction.
In moments of good will, when the mind is
calm, the circulation is complete, strong,
natural; the secretions are active, the pores
open, the glands do their perfect work. Let a
spasm of hate and fear sweep over the person,
and the heart thumps in wild alarm, and then
dies down until you can scarcely detect its throb.
The skin grows cold, the pores close, the secre
tions cease as though a sirocco of death had
swept over the body. There is congestion in
the parts, then fever, and Nature is working
hard to restore an equilibrium. That is just the
way cancer grows — there is a stoppage in the
circulation, and Nature tries to clear it away

by sending more blood to the part <£• This
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increased nutrition causes a growth to form, and
Nature, who works always according to general
laws, not caring for the individual, kills the
patient in an effort to cure him.
More women suffer from cancer than men, and
three-fourths of all cases of cancer with women
are in the mammal glands, or are connected
directly with the sex organs. And in summing
up the case the Doctor says: " Cancer is caused
by misdirected or abnormal sex emotion. If we
could bring about perfect love relations we
could do away with cancer as well as most
other diseases. "

There is no form of woe that will cause a suffer
ing so terrible as jealousy. It grows by what it
feeds upon — a suspicion ! Ah ! it clutches for it,
even though it knows it is poison. It lies in wait,
it watches, it listens; and finding the proof it
wants, suffers more than ever. It suffers if it
finds proof, and suffers if it does n't.
For bodily pain, Nature is pitiful, and quickly
sends insensibility. But for the woes of the heart
there is only lingering torture — nights of tossing
unrest, and days of lagging, leaden misery.
In bereavement by death there soon comes calm

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and sweet peace, in thought of the virtues of the
loved one gone. We consider and dwell upon the
good that was in the dead, but in jealousy we
think only of the worst in the living. It is a blast
ing, withering hate towards that which we love
best. It corrodes the heart and makes the man
hate himself. It forms a trinity of hate — hate
for the woman he loves, hate for the suspected
person, hate for himself.

That is why it stings so — the jealous person
cannot justify himself. And so those who are
most jealous always affirm they are not so at
all, and scout the idea in hysterical emphasis.
So far, the passion of jealousy has never been
analyzed. Many men have written upon it, and
all they attempt to do is to describe its manifes
tations. The cause of jealousy is never equal to
the tragedy that tears and rends the soul, and
so no cause is ever sufficient. To analyze it per
fectly, we must perfectly comprehend the human
heart, and this we can never do. Human nature,
at last, remains the great riddle of God — contra
diction and paradox confront us at every turn.
And should we possibly come to know one soul,

this gives no index to others, for in nature there
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are no duplicates. ^fWho can explain why a
woman with a great and tender love for a man
will at times tantalize him into a frenzy ? Who
can tell why the simple-hearted Moor, Othello,
who loved the gentle Desdemona, should con
ceive such a hatred for her, prompted by a
flimsy and groundless suspicion, that he takes
her life ? Where these insurrections of the heart
are born that wreck and rend the souls of men,
is to us unguessed — we simply do not know.
Jealousy seems a sort of rudimentary savage
instinct that has come down to us from a time
when its manifestation was a violence that
knew no restraint, but with tooth and claw
struck its object dead, so only the strongest
survived. But now we partially hold the savage
hate in check, and jealousy, instead of hurting
the other person, hurts worst the one who is
jealous. We hug the hate and let it gnaw at our
vitals, and poison all the well-springs of our
life with its venom.

The cure is not easy, and only a person of heroic
moral fiber can face the truth and bring phi
losophy to bear, to heal and cure ^t At first
thought, indifference is the panacea — cease to

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love at all — be a stoic — but this is to sink below
jealousy, and not to rise above it.
To say that jealous people ought to separate, is
trite; and it is true that people having totally
different temperaments should not force their
personal presence on each other to tantalize and
taunt and make this earth a hell.
If that engineer could have separated from his
wife, she gone her way and he his, he would in
time have become indifferent to her, and she
might have found a man she could love better.
If she had lived two hundred miles away, he
would not have cared who called upon her, or
when she went to the theatre. But to see her
daily — to live with her and yet know that she
was living a life outside of his, stung him to the
quick <£& e2*

Had Christine Vulpius gone away and married
a worthy peasant, Goethe would have wished
her well, and sent presents to the children; but
when she lived in his house, and was a part of
his life, and was being courted by another man,
Goethe grew furious and paced his room in pain
and wrath. Separation is better than lingering
death. But jealousy may possibly come to those

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couples who really need each other. In it always
is the element of dissatisfaction with self, and
no pain and disappointment equals this — when
we are disappointed with ourselves.
Yet very seldom are we quite honest and frank
with ourselves; instead of laying the blame at
home, we bestow it on another.
But let us be honest — the man who is jealous
is himself to blame for the most part.
But even this knowledge does not mitigate the
woe. This engineer thought that if he had only
been a little more clever he might have filled the
heart of his wife so she would not have cared for
the admiration of other men. So his trouble was
partially a dissatisfaction with himself jt And
if at last she really was a hypocrite and a fool,
why, he was a fool, too, for having married her.
Goethe was far above Christine Vulpius in intel
lect, but he felt that he had failed to make her
happy, else surely she would not have accepted
another lover.

But concerning these tragedies of the heart, the
wise man does not dogmatize. His heart throbs
for all those who suffer. And in his own life he
would not escape the pangs of disprized love by

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loving less; rather does he love more. He seeks
to send his love to all, and make it universal.
That he concentrates his affection on certain
ones more than others, may be true, but he fixes
his thought upon the good that is in them, and
waives all else.

Folly, dissipation, absurdity, extravagance, are
all about us ; but these things do not rend our
souls, cause us sleepless nights, and turn the
genial current of our lives awry jt Let us
remember that we cannot afford to admit hate
into our hearts — we are the ones who suffer — the
wrong is not ours, and so we will not take it in.
^| Each soul is a center in itself, and the mistakes
of others — the follies of wife or child, husband
or parent, are none of ours. We are individuals
—we came into the world alone, we live alone,
and we die alone; and we must be so girded
'round by right that no fault of another can
touch us. God is on our side — nothing can
harm us but ourselves. Let us make sure that
we are right, and then the follies of others will
pass us by unscathed. And above all, remember,
it is not for us to punish. "Vengeance is mine:

I will repay, saith the Lord. "
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HEALTH AND W E A L T H

GET THE STUDY HABIT AND You 'LL BE A
MORE THAN MEDIOCRE PERSON

Foster of Scranton

ALL good Philistines who read their Col
lect closely will recall that Mr. Thomas
J. Foster is one of the eight original
members of the American Legion of Honor.
Several persons have recently written to me
asking who Mr. "Foster is; a few have written in
quiring what Judge Lindsey has done, and one
gentleman unmuzzled his ignorance and in
quired concerning the achievements of Thomas
A. Edison. I have a long article on Edison which
I expect to print soon, unless restrained by
injunction. As for Lindsey, I may say some
thing more about him, too, but just now the
theme is Thomas J. Foster.
Along late in the eighties, Thomas J. Foster
was editor of a daily newspaper at Shenandoah,
Pa. He was a man in moderate circumstances,
practically unknown, as he had not committed
high crimes, and his field of usefulness had been
confined to local circles. He had been a clerk,
a storekeeper, a school-teacher, a printer and

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then an editor. This natural evolution had come
through the Study Habit, the microbe of which
he had acquired in his young manhood.
In passing it may not be out of place to say that
every man (arid eke woman) is controlled by
Habit. When Habits are young they are like
lion cubs, easily managed, but later there comes
a time when they manage you. Bad Habits may
put you on the Avernus Jerkwater, No. 23, with
a ticket one way to Nowhere.
Good Habits are mentors, guardian angels,
and servants that regulate your sleep, your
work, your thought. It is the Study Habit
that distinguishes men. Once you get it, only
death can take it from you — and perhaps even
death can't. I really don't know!
Foster had acquired the Study Habit. He was
nearly fifty, and if Oslerism is correct, was ripe
for the ether cone. But wait : Foster had an Idea
—all of his life had been leading up to this.
The Idea crystallized through a tragedy, and
sometimes tragedy is a blessing, even though it
may be purchased at a terrific cost.
It seems that a near and dear friend of Foster,

a banker and manager of one of the big coal
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HEALTH AND WEALTH

companies, went into a coal-mine with several
friends on a little tour of inspection.
Night came on and the party did not return. It
was thought they had gone to a neighboring
village, so messengers were sent out. The mes
sengers returned with no tidings. The last seen
of the men was when they were entering the
mine «^ jt

Several coal-miners had been made deathly sick
through working in this same mine, and a dread
superstition was abroad that the place was
haunted. The miners refused to enter. So the
editor headed the rescue party, first starting
the air-pumps, and was lowered from the dark
ness of the night down into the blackness of the
bowels of the earth.

He groped his way forward and ere long the
flaring torches revealed the lifeless body of his
friend where he had fallen, and another man on
his back whom evidently he was attempting to
rescue, when Death canceled his efforts. All
were dead.

What killed the men ? The miners who had
worked all their lives in mines did not know —
it was a noiseless, tasteless, odorlessfUnysteri-

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HEALTH AND W E A L T H

ous something — that was all they knew. Some
spoke of it as "the hand of God. "
But Foster, the editor, knew what it was. He
knew that every result was preceded by a cause;
and that as soon as things are understood they
cease to be either mysterious or miraculous <£
These tragedies had been happening for years,
only the victims were obscure persons, and
others waiting for their jobs filled the gaps, and
the saddened and desolated homes were soon
forgotten. It is a busy world, my masters.
But now through the heart of theteditor ran a
spasm of shame to think that society should
allow the men who serve it to go on risking
their lives in ignorance and peril.
He wrote a scathing editorial calling upon* the
citizens of the state to see to it that mine fore
men should be educated sufficiently in a scien
tific way so as to safeguard the lives of their
men & ^

This editorial, with several others like it, led to
the passing of a law requiring that mine fore
men should pass an examination in technical
knowledge that would render their work reason
ably safe.

TOO

HEALTH AND WE ALT II

This law at first seemed to work a decided hard
ship on many good men, some of whom did not
have a sufficient education to fulfil the require
ments: and the editor found himself strongly
denounced. But instead of fighting his would-be
enemies, he invited them to come to his office,
as he had a proposition to make them. They
came, and there he laid before them a plan-
he would teach them. Yes, they could use his
books, and he would explain the questions, the
questions more dreaded than fire-damp. So the
mine foremen met evenings at the editor's sanc
tum, and the miners with foreman ambitions
came. Many of these strong men were appalled
at long division and few could wrestle fractions,
but the editor prepared easy lessons in leaflet
form, and thru his patience and his love, terror
fled. The lessons were really easy — everything
is easy when you know how. The miners got
their lessons and laughed to think they ever had
a fear ^ £,

Some of the miners lived ten miles or more
away, and these prepared their "sums" or
"examples" and sent them in by mail for cor
rection & t

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HEALTH AND WEALTH

There was a "Miner's Column" in the editor's
newspaper, and this spread the good work. In
a year the Miners' Correspondence Course had
spread all over Pennsylvania, and down into
West Virginia and out to Ohio. It seemed to fill
a need — men were being educated for their
work, while at their work. Occasionally miners
became foremen ; foremen became superintend
ents. When government inspectors were wanted,
"Foster's men" were always given first choice.
The men who took up the Study Habit didn't
have so much time to spend at the saloons «^t
With their spare money they bought books. By
the light of the evening lamp they worked at
their lessons, often rocking the cradle at the
same time — the mother busy at her housework.
If The editor's Idea was making head. The Idea
itself was an old one — but its application was
the work of the editor man. The Chautauqua
was an inspiration to thousands, but it stopped
with history and belles-lettres. To teach tech
nology by mail seemed too much — we all sup
posed a teacher at our elbow was necessary,
simply because we had always had a teacher
at our elbow. We did not realize that the things

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HEALTH AND WEALTH

we work out by ourselves benefit us most. The
Correspondence School plan gives the necessary
assistance and inspiration to Home Study, and
helps you to help yourself.
The Mining Course was a success, why not
other lines of study as well ? And Thomas J.
Foster, the editor, surprised at the success of
his Idea, transformed his newspaper business
into a college and became the world's school
master — a teacher who teaches by mail e^His
business is known as the International Corre
spondence Schools, of Scranton, Pa.
In fifteen years he has enrolled a million
students. He has over two hundred separate
courses of study, covering almost the entire
field of art, textile, manual and commercial
endeavor. His pupils are men and women of
various ages in every walk of life. He enrolls
more students every month than enter Harvard,
Yale, Princeton and Dartmouth in a year.
One hundred and fifty railroad companies
employ his services in teaching their work
men so to better safeguard the lives and prop
erty of their patrons. Many colleges co-operate

with him and use his lesson leaves and text-

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books. The United States Government has
officially endorsed the work, and given prefer
ence in naval, engineering and electrical work
to his students. He has the largest and best
printing plant in the world. He utilizes a capi
tal of four million dollars. One adult out of
every twenty-seven in America is a student in
the International Correspondence Schools <£

RECENTLY I attended the Fifteenth
anniversary of the I. C. S. Two thou
sand people were present from all over the
world — mostly men connected with the Corres
pondence School work. There were formal
exercises in a theatre, with much good music,
and some good speaking, for did I not say I
was there ? Then we were conducted over ten
acres of floor-space and were shown the inner
workings of the Idea.

The teachers who handle the examination-
papers are specialists, of course ; they represent
the principal colleges of the world, and while
some of the best have diplomas only from the
University of Hard Knocks, all have taken one

or more courses in the I. C. S. The usefulness
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of the Idea turns on organization — method jt
And the institution is certainly a monument to
its founder. Order, cleanliness, quiet, beauty,
light, ventilation, sanitation everywhere pre
vail. It all works like a Howard watch.
In the evening there was a banquet where were
seated a thousand men ; and five hundred ladies,
envious and admiring, fluttered in the galleries.
The use of a banquet is to break the social ice,
so I am told.

Thirty-one men shone resplendent at the speak
ers table in full dress-suits ; two were in citizens'
clothes, one being your uncle and the other one
John Mitchell.

John's pastorate is bigger than mine — four hun
dred thousand men place their destinies in his
hands, and the happiness and wrelfare of about
two million people are in his keeping. Half a
million people read my stuff, but none follow
my suggestions or accept my ideas as truth
unless they wish.

John Mitchell's face shows care, and his sober,
earnest ways tell of grave responsibilities. He
is a distinguished man in appearance and man
ner. No man would ever approach him and ask,

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"Sir, are you anybody in particular?" ^f John
Mitchell made the best speech of the Meeting.
His voice is neither loud, high nor deep, but
it is so finely modulated and so vibrant with
feeling that it stills every buzzing whisper and
carries conviction home. A very brave and
manly man is John Mitchell. He has battles
in front of him, for his barque is not yet in
peaceful waters, but if he does as much in the
next ten years as he has in the past, he '11 anchor
for four years in the White House, if some of
you fellows do not look out ! He has made mis
takes, they say, but I do not remember just
what they are; yet when one thinks of the mobs
he has faced in their fury, not to mention that
five-days' fusillade of Wayne MacVeagh, you
are astounded that he has not made more. Yet
he was born in Illinois !

But here he sits, smiling, alert, poised, and
when he arises to speak he does not cough,
sputter, rant, harangue, scold, grope, nor
apologize, but proceeds with a fine and very
gentle reserve to speak of "the people whom
I have the honor to serve." He chooses his
words with care and marches them with pre-

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cision, spacing each paragraph and packing
each pause with feeling. He says just enough
and sits down at a time when everybody wishes
he would go on.

My seat happened to be between that of the
Right Reverend Bishop Ethelbert Talbot of
the Episcopal Church and the Right Reverend
Bishop Holban of the Roman Catholic Church.
Whether this peculiar seating-arrangement was
the result of malice prepense, invidious and
sinister, planned and perpetrated by J. D. Jones,
Master of Ceremonies, or the work of the infal
lible dice, I cannot say. The genial toastmaster
spoke of the "three bishops we have with us,"
and then referred to me as "The Bishop of all
Outsiders. " What the two sure-enough bishops
might have done had I not been between them,
no man can say, but as it was, amity and peace
prevailed. Both bishops were charming — they
had left their bishop's voices at home, and we
conversed on the New Education and the
Brotherhood of Man. Both read the Choice
Stuff, and while I refrained from any reference
to Torquemada, Savonarola, Pope Alexander,

Borgia and Henry the Ate, they in turn had

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only words of kindness for Goliath, and neither
asked where East Aurora really is, nor called
it "The Philippine Magazine." Outside of
their official capacity bishops are absolutely
unobjectionable.

Governor Pennypacker was present and made
a telling speech, although the suggestion that he
speak his speech, I prithee, into a phonograph
and send the record by express, should have
been followed. The Governor has a presence
like an observant thumb, and when he begins
to speak he simply clucks and gurgles like a
graphophone gone wrong and pushes out a few
falsetto notes in high C as an introduction. He
is the homeliest man in America, excepting
William Hawley Smith, and in point of pulchri
tude certainly pushes Hawley hard for first
place. The caricatures of him are all quite
complimentary. Yet when he gets a clutch on his
think-apparatus, you are amazed and delighted
to follow his wealth of allusion and the orderly
procession of his thought <£» But above all,
Pennypacker is an honest man, and God knows
there are not many of us.
Another great disappointment to me was S. S.

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McClure, Limited, who strangely enough is n't,
and who added to the joy of the occasion a few
Irish bulls and some choice wit and eloquence.
If Col. Lamed of West Point gave us a taste of
his quality in a twenty-minute speech, wherein
he cut the introduction, got the range, and talked
right out of his heart, and therefore talked well.
Tf Dr. Shaefer, State Superintendent of Public
Instruction, made next to John Mitchell the
best speech of the evening. His theme was "The
Practical Education," and ye who read THE
PHILISTINE know the argument. It is not
covered by copyright; I did not invent it, and of
course I make no claim on Doctor Shaefer for
royalties. Shaefer is one of the living educators
of his day — a man with much good cheer, sym
pathy plus, receptive to new ideas, with a mini
mum amount of pedagogic frills and a maximum
quantity of commonsense, a man who knows
children because he loves them.
Now be it known this was a "dry banquet,"
and the first and only dry banquet where there
were over a hundred guests that I ever attended,
which speaks well for me — or not, all according

to your point of view. There is an adage that a

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dry banquet is like platonic love, and platonic
love is like playing poker with Confederate
money. Let the ribald ones pass! Do they not
also tell us that you cannot run a first-class hotel
without a bar ?

Rodents ! or words to that effect.
I have attended dozens of banquets, but at this
one of the I. C. S. there was an atmosphere, and
it was not an atmosphere of budge, booze and
tales tinged with saffron and stories verging on
gamboge & jt

The audience keys the speech of the speaker-
it is all a collaboration. A Clover Club Banquet
is a frumenti effervescence, a maudlin embrace
between Wit and the Widow Clicquot, and the
Widow, of course, comes off victorious, as
widows ever do.

But here there was a keen, high, rarified, intel
lectual atmosphere. Every man who stood on
his feet had to say something. The breath of
Minerva ruled the place, not the fumes of
Bacchus. And at the last what finer joy, next
to putting salt on the tail of an idea, than to
experience the fine intoxication that comes
from having the idea served up skillfully on

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HEALTH AND WEALTH

the oratorical toast ! ^f The audience keys the
atmosphere, and if you choose to say that the
speaker keys the audience, I '11 not quarrel with
you since every truth implies its contradiction.
But on this occasion the wit, wisdom and
spiritual fluidity of the event was supplied by
Thomas J. Foster, the country editor who
fifteen years ago conceived an Idea.

BE PATIENT WITH THE BOYS — You ARE DEAL
ING WITH SOUL STUFF — DESTINY WAITS JUST
AROUND THE CORNER.

How I Found My Brother

*^I7 ^OU see, it was about like this: I was
^^ 'leven years old, going on twelve. Our
JL folks lived at the village of Hudson,
McLean County, ten miles from Bloomirigton,
which is in the State of Illinois. My father was
a doctor, and being a country doctor did not
roll in wealth any to speak of. In those days
every one in Illinois was poor, no matter how
much land he owned. However, we owned our
farm, had four horses, five cows, a dozen pigs
and a flock of hens.

HEALTH AND WEALTH

There were always vegetables in the cellar,
smoked meat in the wood-shed, and pickled
beef in the kitchen. At the back door was a keg
of soft soap. In the garret where I slept, in the
winter the snow drifted cheerily in through the
cracks and covered the buffalo robes that
covered me. But I did n't lie awake thinking
about it — country boys who work all day begin
to pound their ear as soon as they hit the pillow.
If I was the only boy and you know what that is
in a family where there are four big sisters! I
had to make the garden, milk the cows, bring
in wood and churn. Of course there was a lot
of fun about it all — more than I knew of at the
time. In the winter I hunted rabbits with an old
army musket and brought home so much bunny
meat that the whole family went on a strike,
and declared I should study my books more
and not hunt rabbits quite so much.
In the spring and fall when the prairie ponds
were full of water, the wild ducks on their regu
lar trips north or south got stop-overs and
remained with us a few days — thousands of
them — and a few of them neglected to go on.
Ducks are harder to kill than rabbits. I used to

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HEALTH AND WEALTH

load the old musket up so heavy that when I
would fire it off, if I did not look out sharp,
I would get kicked end over end. Then I would
get up and look for ducks, and usually they
were flying away on the far and distant horizon,
as the poets say.

In winter I went to school. We used to play
"Anteny Over," with a yarn ball. That is, we
chose sides; one gang stood on one side of the
school-house and the other half on the other.
You yelled Anteny Over and threw the ball over
the school-house. The boy that caught it yelled
Anteny Over, but instead of throwing it, he
sneaked around the corner and soaked the first
fellow he saw, and usually the ball was soaked
in water, so when you got hit you knew it. Then
the fellow that was hit had to go around on the
other side. When the bell rang the side that had
the most men was the winner.
Then we played one-old-cat and three-cornered
cat. Saturdays there were boys playing ball on
the prairie back of the church all day, and if I
could sneak away I was usually one of the ball
players. I was a true Son of Swat.
This brought me many scoldings and a few

"3

HEALTH AND WEALTH

mild lickings, because I neglected my work jfe
As a ball-player I was a bird — I used to take a
piece of a flat board and when that yarn ball
came anywhere around, I gave it a wallop you
could have heard a mile. We pitched under
hand, and I could certainly do up the town on
pitching as well as crossing 'em out. I became
a three-cornered-cat fiend.
Everything that came on the first bound, I
gathered in; the flies 1 caught in my hat. When
my big sister played, she used to catch 'em in
her apron. Finally, I almost forgot how to curry
a horse, and the girls had to milk the cows,
carry in wood and hunt for the eggs, because I
was off playing ball.

Now, one day I saw in the "Weekly Panta-
graph," that a man calling himself the agent of
the Children's Aid Society of New York, was to
be in Bloomington the next week with twenty-
five children, and that respectable farmers and
such who wanted to adopt children should be
on hand and make their selection.
I spelled out that item four or five times, and
then carried it to my mother asking what it

meant. And she explained to me that these
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children were orphans, and there were people
who had no children of their own, or not as
many as they wanted, who adopted them.
And then a great idea came to me — I needed a
brother, and here was a chance to get one. The
three brothers I once had died while very young,
and although I could remember them but dimly,
there were three little mounds in the graveyard
that we used to visit on Sunday afternoons, that
kept their memory green.

When I suggested going down to Bloomington
and picking out a brother for myself, my mother
tried to laugh, but I saw the tears running down
her cheeks, and then she threw her apron over
her head and went out to bring the clothes in
off the line.

The next day I brought the subject up at the
table. Everybody smiled — they thought it wras
a fine joke.

Father concluded that we had all the children
he could feed, but I argued that I got fifty cents
a day when they were running the Brown corn-
sheller for driving on the horse-power, and in
harvest time I could get a dollar a day. If we
had another boy, I could work all the time and

"5

HEALTH AND WEALTH

earn money and the other boy could do the
chores. "And give you time to play ball,"
chimed in my big sister.

I loftily waived her remark, but clung to the
argument that I needed a brother.
Sis felt a little sorry for what she had said, so
she came over to my side and suggested that
these orphan children were sent out for a month
first, and then adopted if all parties were willing.
"Sent on suspicion," said father.
"It is better than the other way," I argued,
"because if you don't like 'em, you don't have
to keep 'em, and the other way you can't send
'em back after they have been used. "
"The garden work is behind, you know, " I con
tinued, "and I can never do it alone."
There was a little more parley with instances
by father where orphan boys had set fire to
haystacks, turned the cows in the corn, stolen
chickens, and cooked them on wire fences by
making a fire beneath.

But Sis offset all this by naming three adopted
boys who not only worked well, but had joined
the Baptist Church and been baptized by cut
ting a hole in the ice in the creek, only a few

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months before. ^[That settled it — I was given
permission to go and pick out a boy. Father
and mother would make no promises — if I
could get him on a month's trial, all right.
And right there I ceased all agitation and talked
of other things. I was afraid the permission
would be revoked. Not a peep did I give forth
on the subject of brothers. But I thought about
it all day and dreamed of it at night. I wanted
a brother who could work, who could fight and
who could play ball.

The day arrived when the orphans were to be
at the Ashley Tavern in Bloomington.
Did I say anything about it ? Not I !
I was up at daylight, without being called. I
tried to eat breakfast, but had no appetite. So
I just made a bluff at it, and then sauntered out
into the garden and began to hoe.
Soon father took his saddle-bags and went off
to see patients. Mother began baking. The girls
started for school.

I ran to the barn, stood in the manger and put
a bridle on OF Molly and backed her out, first
fastening her colt in the box stall. I climbed on

her bare back. Instead of taking the road that

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ran in front of the house, I cut across the fields

and struck the creek road a mile out of town £,

Then I dug my heels into the old mare's sides

and gave her the gad.

I rode the ten miles in a little over an hour,

jumped off at the court house, tied the horse

and made for the Ashley Tavern.

I knew what I wanted.

I walked into the office, looked around and

asked for the orphans.

" Parlor — up-stairs," said the clerk.

I climbed the stairs, two steps at a time and

entered the parlor.

It was not yet nine o'clock in the morning, but

there the children were — washed, dressed and

seated all around the walls of the room.

Several men and women were standing around,

looking at the children and talking. Two women

in black, and a man with long whiskers and

upper lip shaved, seemed to be in charge of the

orphans jfc ^

"How old are you sonny," said an old man to

me, patting me on the head.

"'Leven, going on twelve," I answered

" Can you work ? "

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"I guess so," I answered. ^[He called his wife
over and they both looked at me earnestly jfc
Then the old man said to one of the widow
women in black, "We think we will take this
one," at the same time giving me another pat
on the head.

" I am already took, you '11 not get me," I roared,
"I'm here to pick out a brother. I want a boy
that can work, and who can play ball!"
This centered attention on me. Most everybody
laughed, including several of the orphans. The
boys were dressed in gray and the girls in red.
They all seemed quite content — not near as
miserable as I thought children should be who
had 110 parents.

I walked twice around the room looking at
these orphans, as I had looked at pigs at the
county fair.

None of them seemed to answer — all were too
yellow, and several of them whispered together
and made fun of rne. I was in my bare feet and
they wore shoes and stockings. All at once I saw
in the corner a boy with tow-head and freckles.
He had settled down in the corner trying to hide.

He was so homely he was attractive.

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I walked over to him, and asked, "Can you
work and play ball — I want a brother!"
I did not say anything about fighting, for I had
suddenly noticed that he was a hunchback ^
He just looked at me and gulped, scared like,
he was that embarrassed.

"I want a brother — will you come with me and
be my brother ?" I asked.

I omitted the qualifications this time — my heart
went out to this boy — he seemed so scared and
half-sick. I could work, fight and play ball for
both e3& e£&

"Is your name — your name Mudsock?" he
whispered jt &

" No, I 'm Bert Hubbard, " I said.
"Are you relation of Si Mudsock ? "
"Nobody around us by that name," I answered.
If "Then I '11 go with you and be your brudder,"
he answered. He stood up. He only came to my
shoulder. " I 'm fifteen," he said as if in apology.
"I'm fifteen — I'm not sick — I had spinal com
plaint — but I 'm all over it now. I am strong —
can work and I can play ball. "
I took him by the hand and led him to the
widow and said, " If you please, Missus, I '11 take

HEALTH AND WEALTH

this one!" ^[Then the woman asked me who
I was, where I came from, who sent me, and
explained that if my parents wished to adopt a
boy, or to take one on probation, they must
come and sign the papers.

Just then in walked Uncle Elihu Rogers ^fc I
referred to him. Uncle Elihu assured them that
I was the son of Doctor Hubbard and that I
knew as much as my father, or thought I did.
All the time I held my boy tightly by the hand.
If It was finally agreed that if Uncle Elihu would
go out and get Dr. Crothers, and both of them
would sign for the boy, I could have him on a
month's trial, to be adopted then by my parents,
if they so desired.

Dr. Crothers came over, smiled, asked me a few
questions. He then gave me and my new brother
each ten cents, and signed the papers.
I walked out of the parlor rapidly, down the
stairs and over to the court-house, leading my
new-found brother. He carried a bundle tied up
in a big red handkerchief.

I unfastened OP Molly, climbed up on the hitch
ing rail, and jumped on her back. Then I held
out my hand, stiffened my foot, and up climbed

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my brother. He was nimble and strong — I felt
better <£, &

As we jogged along I asked, "Why did you ask
me if my name was Mudsock ? "
"He 's them an that had me last — 'dopted nic
he lives near Peoria. Is that near here ? He used
me to bat up flies — beat me, starved me, and
then when I ran away he tried to get me arrested.
He said I stole a horse ! "
"Did you?" I asked.

"Never, I just ran away and stole rides on the
railroad clear back to New York — it took me
six weeks. There they put me in the Home and
brought me out west again to be 'dopted ^ I
do n't mind being 'dopted by you. I can work,
I can — but I want to go to school a little, to read
and study and be a man. I like you — but if Mud-
sock comes for me, what will you do ?"
"Kill him, "I answered.

Mother was just putting the dinner on when OP
Molly, Brudder and I reached the front gate &

THE month of probation past, and father
and mother straightway adopted Brudder,
all without any coercion from me. It was very

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funny — at first they thought it a calamity, then
they got to telling the neighbors how they sent
me after him.

The lad was alert, obedient, willing. He was
grateful for everything; whereas I was Grab-
heimer from Grabville.

Again and again my sisters would say to me,
"Now, why don't you try to be gentlemanly
like Brudder, and not hang your hat on the floor
and talk back. "

I had intended to select a boy who looked like
myself — this being the highest type I could
imagine. Instead I had picked my opposite. I
was tall, slender, and had black hair and brown
eyes. Brudder was short, and a genuine blond.
I was saucy — he was polite. Instead of picking
out the strongest and liveliest boy I could find,
I chose the smallest, the sickliest, the homeliest
one in the bunch. My judgment was in the ditch,
and I was carried away on the back of sympathy.
It was head against heart, and heart made a
home run. In spite of his physical disability, he
was very strong, and he could do fully as much
work as I. In his books he was a bit deficient,

but the girls taught him evenings, and in long

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division I had to call upon him to help me out.
He used to hold the hank of yarn for mother to
wind and would do this without either snarling
the yarn or mother's temper jt Once I heard
mother say that Brudder was just like my
brother Charlie who died when he was nine
years old jfc &

We worked together, got jobs at the station
unloading lumber, drove on the horse-power
and sold corn-cobs to the section men for fuel.
Saturday afternoons we played ball. This was
Brudder's passion, as well as mine. We found
a big chunk of solid rubber on the railroad that
had served its purpose as a car-spring. Or did
we work it out of the car with a crow-bar ? I
really cannot say. But anyway, Brudder got
busy cutting out a solid rubber ball with his
knife. Very patiently did he work cutting and
paring. At last the ball was done. Oh, it was a
daisy ! With a round club you could knock it a
mile. We then quit playing three-cornered-cat
and Brudder showed us how to play baseball.
He sent away and got the "Rules." He was
always sending for catalogs and sample copies

of magazines. We made him captain of our
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team, and when the Bloomington Giants came
up to play us, we beat them forty-nine to twenty-
three. We were making plans to go out as pro
fessionals when something terrible happened.
It was one Saturday afternoon. Brudder had
been with us just six months. He and I had dug
potatoes hard all the morning, and mother had
told us we could have the entire afternoon. We
were playing the "Invincibles" from the
Normal ^ ^t

Brudder was pitching, and the way he sent that
solid rubber spheroid over the plate and around
the plate was marvelous. He could throw a
curve that circled the batter's neck — or nearly
so. The Invincibles were n't in it. They had a
cloth ball with a piece of rubber in the center,
but we kicked on this and insisted on our own
or. nothing. Things were coming our way jt I
was catching. The way I picked that ball right
off the wood was marvelous.
All at once I saw a strange man coming across
the diamond with a black-snake whip in his
hand. He was big and had red bushy whiskers.
Brudder saw him and turned pale — he was so
scared that he just held the ball in his hand and

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HEALTH AND WEALTH

stood first on one foot, then on the other. I was
paralyzed jt jfc

The big man in his ragged, dusty clothes with
his black-snake whip was walking right toward
Brudder, yelling, "So I've found you at last—
I've found you at last!"

Brudder ran out across the diamond toward
the field. The man followed after him. Suddenly
Brudder stopped — his hand with the solid rub
ber ball shot up, over, around, his knee came
up to his chin — and the ball shot forward !
It caught the man square on the mouth jt He
dropped the whip, threw up his hands, reeled,
staggered and fell on his back, the blood stream
ing from his nose and mouth.
The crowd was around him in a minute. We
thought he was dead.

Father was sent for and came with his case of
instruments ready to cut off a leg, but before he
arrived some one had thrown a bucket of water
in the man's face. By this time he was sitting
up. He had spit out a mouthful of teeth and
was trying to talk, asking for that dam boy
who had tried to murder him, when he had n't

done nothing to nobody.
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HEALTH AND WEALTH

I began looking around for Brudder. He could
not be found. No one had seen him. We searched
the house and the barn. We looked in the wheat
bin and under the hay. Then we discovered that
our three-year-old bay colt was gone. A scrap
of paper in the oats measure told the tale. On it
was scrawled, "Dear Bert: If I killed Mudsock
they will hang me. If I did n't kill him he will
kill me, for he says I am his. I have to leave you.
When I score I '11 pay for the colt. I am not bad —
God has forgotten me, that is all jfc Brudder."
It was a lonely household after Brudder had
gone. We thought he would be back in a few
days. We put a notice in the "Weekly Panta-
graph," but no one had seen my brother. One
of our neighbors once said to mother at church,
—"So he stole your horse, did he— they are all
alike!" And mother said something to the man
he did not soon forget. Sunday afternoons we
still went up to the graveyard, and I wondered
why there were not four mounds instead of three.
The graves kind of seemed very near, and dear
and close.
Four years passed, and I secured a job in

Chicago. I was as big as a man and felt as

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big as one, even if I was only sixteen years
old. I was down home on a visit and a letter
came. I hold the letter nowT in my hand as I
write. It is yellow and soiled, but still is legible.
Here is what it says: Dear Bert: "Here is a
draft for two hundred dollars to pay for the
colt. Give it to your father with my love. The
horse was worth the money to me, but I had
to sell him. I am secretary to the Manager of
the White Sox. I get twenty-five dollars a week.
I play shortstop. I got a walk to first, then I stole
second, and a small swat put me on third, and
I'll not die here. When I score you will hear
from me. The Great Umpire, I guess, has n't
entirely forgotten me.

Yours truly,

Brudder. "

I am fifty years old. Brudder is fifty-three. I
saw him last week when I lectured at the Acad
emy of Music in Philadelphia. He was right in
the front row, "rooting," as he expressed it
when he came up on the stage after the speil.
If "You look as if the Great Umpire was on
your side," I said, ^f "He is — I am not rich — but

I have all I need — I get three thousand dollars a
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HEALTH AND WEALTH

year. Then I have my daughter, and any man
with such a daughter is rich. You know I am
superintendent for the A. J. Reach Co., the
folks who make the baseballs. "
Brudder is a trifle bald, but his face is the same
that I saw at the Ashley Tavern, only without
the pallor. Men who love baseball seem to keep
young, they are always boys. With Brudder
was his grown-up daughter, a beautiful girl a
head taller than he. She called me Uncle.

SWOLLEN FORTUNES ARE NOT so DANGEROUS
As A SWOLLEN NAVY

A Peace Precedent

THE coast line between Canada and the
United States, from the St. Lawrence
River to Lake Superior, is about two
thousand miles.

In the year Eighteen Hundred and Twelve,
there were forty-six forts, big and little, on the
United States side, and about the same number
frowned at us from Canada.
At Fort Niagara alone there were at one time

six thousand troops. Altogether we had on the

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HEALTH AND WEALTH

Great Lakes over a hundred craft devoted to
the art of fighting — this in the interest of peace.
H In one little battle we had with our British
cousins, on Lake Erie, Commodore Perry, a
rash youth of twenty-seven, captured six British
ships and killed three hundred men. A little
before this the British destroyed ten ships for
us and killed two hundred Americans.
After the War of Eighteen Hundred and Twelve
was ended and peace was declared, both sides
got busy, very busy, strengthening the forts and
building war ships.

At Watertown, Conneaut, Erie, Port Huron,
Cleveland and Detroit were shipyards where
hundreds of men were working night and day
building war ships. Not that war was imminent
but the statesmen of the time said there was
nothing like "preparedness. " In Canada things
were much the same, and there were threats
that Perry's famous message, "We have met
the enemy and they are ours," would soon be
reversed ^ *£*

Suddenly, but very quietly, two men in Wash
ington got together and made an agreement.

One man was acting Secretary of State, Richard
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HEALTH AND WEALTH

Rush of Philadelphia. The other was Charles
Bagot, Minister to the United States from Eng
land jt Rush was of Quaker parentage, and
naturally, was opposed to the business of war.
If Bagot had seen enough of fighting to know it
was neither glorious nor amusing.
Rush wrote out a memorandum of agreement
which he headed AN ARRANGEMENT.
The document is written on one side of a single
sheet of paper and is dated April Twenty-eight,
Eighteen Hundred and Seventeen. Here is a
copy:

" 1. — The Naval Forces henceforth to be main
tained upon the Great Lakes shall be confined
to the following vessels on each side :
"2. — On Lake Ontario one vessel, not to exceed
one hundred tons burden, carrying not more
than twenty men and one eighteen - pound
cannon jfc jt

"3. — On the Upper Lakes two vessels, of same
burden, and armed in a like way.
"4. — On Lake Champlain one vessel of like
size and armament.

"5. — All other armed vessels to be at once dis
mantled, and no other vessel of war shall be

131

HEAL TH AND WEA L T H

built or armed along the St. Lawrence River
or on the Great Lakes. "

This agreement has been religiously kept for
ninety-one years. Its effect was to stop work at
once on the fortifications, and cause disarma
ment along the Great Lakes.
So far as we know the agreement will continue
for all time. Both parties are satisfied, and in
fact, so naturally has it been accepted, very few
people know of its existence.
Here is an example that our friends at The
Hague might well emphasize. If those forts on
the frontier had been maintained, and had the
ships of war continued to sail up and down, it
would have been a positive miracle if there had
not been fighting.

Probably they would have forced us into a war
with England before this. We have had several
disputes with Canada when it would have been
very easy to open hostilities if the tools had been
handy. Men who tote pistols find reasons for
using them, and the nations that have big
armies will test their use when excuse offers.

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HEALTH AND WEALTH

THE civilized earth is practically parceled
out among nine Great Nations. These
nations are The United States of America,
England, Germany, France, Russia, Italy,
Austria, Spain and Turkey.
Each of these nations keeps a large standing
army. The United States has the smallest army
and Russia the largest. We also have more food
and Russia the least. Twice in ten years we have
fed her.

In round numbers these nine great powers take
and constantly keep four million men from
useful production. Including those who are
working in shops and factories, employed in
the creation of army supplies there are five mill
ion people, of the very flower and pick of the
world, engaged in military duty.
Let the further fact be noted that where a man
is taken from useful production, some one has
to work to support him.

The worst of war or war service is that the
soldier is a ruined man. William T. Stead says,
"Four out of five of all English soldiers who
serve for two years or more are tainted by
venereal disease. "

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HEALTH AND WEALTH

To a great degree population is reproduced by
the weak, the old and the unfittest.
The most awful feature of war is not the loss
of life on the field of battle or death in the
hospitals, but it is that the men who return,
come back demoralized by disease and trans
mit disease and the tendencies of degeneration
to the unborn.

Fear, greed and vanity are the three things
which stand in the way of disarmament. But
the thinking people of the world are beginning
to see that the perpetuity of the race demands
the abolition of war.

If individuals cannot agree we do not allow
them to get out in the street and battle with
each other.

That might prove which was the stronger man
but it would not prove who was right in the
question at issue. Justice is not to be reached
through violence.

We elect supervisors to look after the affairs of
each county, and if counties disagree they find
their remedy in the state courts.
If states disagree they carry the case to the

United States Court.
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HEALTH AND WEALTH

But if countries disagree we return to violence
and straightway destroy life and property in
order that equity may reign.
Among all savage tribes there is a goodly degree
of consideration for the individual members of
the tribe, a certain standard of justice and
ethics. The American Indians do not maltreat
their women, nor abuse their children. In fact
corporal punishment is looked upon with great
disfavor. Savages have a Golden Rule, too ^t
But it applies only to members of the family or
tribe, just as our Golden Rule does not apply to
outside nations. My plea is for a Golden Rule
that will apply not only to our own country, not
only to Christendom, but to all the world.
The absurdity of avowed violence between
nations that clamorously proclaim themselves
"Christians" is too evident to discuss.
If two countries can make an "arrangement"
limiting the matter of armament and this
arrangement holds for a hundred years, cannot
nine countries do the same ? All that is then
needed is a few soldiers to do police duty.
Nations cannot afford to be savages any more
than individuals.

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HEALTH AND WEALTH

THE GUINEA FEATHER SHOULD BE THE
NATIONAL FLOWER

The Guinea Hens

ABOUT a year ago I reprinted in these
columns a paragraph from the London
Pall Mall Gazette, as follows : " You can
join the American Academy of Immortals on
payment of two guineas. This guarantees your
immortality for ninety-nine years with privilege
of renewal. Our Yankee brothers are a strange
and gullible people. " Well, a fewT weeks later a
man from Kalamazoo wrote me thus: "I want
you to enroll my name in the American Acad
emy of Immortals and in payment I send you
two guineas. "

There was no money in the letter, but that after
noon a box came by express containing two
guinea hens.

Would n't that give you cold feet ?
One of the guinea hens was a rooster.
But which one I didn't know, excepting that
one was a bit more pompous than the other and
had more to say. And this, I assumed, was Mr.

Guineahen £> £>
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HEALTH AND WEALTH

The guinea pig isn't a pig and doesn't come
from Guinea.

The guinea fowl does — being a partially domes
ticated partridge, prairie-chicken or sage-hen
of the Guinea jungle.

Wild birds and wild animals mate — domesti
cate them and they become promiscuous. I do
not know why this is, but it does seeni as if
civilization were immoral. Guineas mate and
are true and loyal until death do them part ^
These two guineas the Michigan man sent me
wore tailor-made suits of faultless fit.
I sent the guineas up to the Roycroft farm so to
keep the hawks away.

When a guinea sees a hawk or any big bird
flying around, he gives the alarm, and all the
fowls but the guineas scoot for cover Jt, The
guinea just flies up on the gate and shoots forth
a torrent of Billingsgate defiance. No bird that
wears feathers has a vocabulary equal to the
guinea — it is so profane that it is unprintable.
Epithet, ridicule, sarcasm and cuss-words are
sent forth in rapid fire. When a guinea is a little
excited you can hear him a mile. As before
intimated it is Mr. Guineahen who makes most

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HEALTH AND WEALTH

of the noise, but his wife is a good imitator, and
she always echoes the sentiments of her liege —
political, social, religious. On the subject of
hawks, weasels, skunks and strange cats, old
Mr. and Mrs. Guinea are absolutely one. On
non-essentials they occasionally differ, and
exhibit these differences as to what constitutes
wit by many interesting little physical culture
exhibitions jfc jt
In other words, they fight.
But with guineas a foreign disturbance always
makes peace at home.

The guinea has surpassed man in this — he has
abolished fear. He sounds warning notes, but
as for himself, he resembles Fuzzy Wuzzy, his
former owner, and doesn't give a dam.
Mr. Guinea is boss of the barn-yard. Even a
game bird considers discretion the better part
of valor. A guinea will tackle an English bull
dog. If the dog knew his power he might win,
or at least get a slice of the gate receipts, but
when a guinea begins to say things at a bull
dog — or any dog for that matter — that dog
stipulates all the facts concerning his pedigree

to be as stated, and hikes.
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HEALTH AND WEALTH

About June one of our guineas disappeared.
The other one used to come around, lonesome
like, just a-wearying for his mate. He would fly
up on the ridge of the barn and call and call.
We felt awful sorry for him. We thought his
mate must have been killed or stolen.
But one day, would you believe it, I saw those
two guineas out in the stubble, a half mile from
the barn. They were cooing away, chuckling,
clucking and seemingly polishing up their
vocabularies.

I was that rejoiced that I went right out to see
them. As I approached I saw a brown moving
mass close to the ground all around them.
This mass was baby guinea hens. There were
four thousand of them !

As I approached, Mr. Guineahen gave a cluck
and yelled, "Low bridge!" and the little ones
disappeared as if my old friend Kellar were in
charge of the show.

I stood still and in about five minutes Mr.
Guineahen gave another Number Six cluck and
shouted, "All safe — let her go ! " and the ground
was alive with the guinea chicks.
They were little brown, fluffy things about as

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big as what the girls call "a spool of cotton,"
the kind that used to cost us five cents, but
which now is six.

I watched them for an hour. Mr. Guineahen
kept circling round and round the brood talking
in a monotone to himself. I never heard such
boasting and bragging! He scouted race suicide
and flouted Malthus.

"What this country needs is more guineas,"
he declared in a quiet cackle. All the time he
watched the sky for hawks, and hunted for seeds
and bugs, and these he passed right over to his
wife and family.

He was the busiest and happiest bird I ever
saw. Toward sundown he led his picnic party
over to the bushes, and I saw Mr. Guineahen
sit down close to his mate and the little ones
nestle under them for warmth and shelter. We
read about how two thousand years ago "a hen
spreadeth her wings and gathereth her young. "
But in this brooding business Mr. Guinea is
just as clever and reliable as Mrs. Guinea, and
the little ones make no distinction.
It is a wise guinea chick that knows its own

mother jt jt
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HEALTH AND WEALTH

It must have been a month before I saw our
guineas again. This time they came right into
the barn-yard — the father and mother, and the
eighteen little ones with red feet and bills. They
were about as big as Indiana quails. All were
exactly alike, very well disciplined; they moved
in a solid flock.

Mr. Guinea fluttered about, circled his family
and called loudly for cracked corn and wheat.
Tf We made haste to fill the order, and woe
betide the Plymouth Rock that dare come near
until those twenty guineas had enough.
Having eaten, the old ones flew up on the fence
— a five-board affair, horse high, pig tight and
bull strong.

The old guineas walked along on the top board
and the little ones, one at a time, taclded the
lower board, which was about a foot from the
ground ^ £,

The second night the little ones tried the second
board and they spread out in a straight line,
eighteen strong, with red beaks all pointed one
way e2* «#
The third day they tried the third rail, and at

the end of the week they had all conquered the

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top board. ^fA week later I saw the whole
bunch sitting right on the ridge of the barn,
singing out of tune in a discordant chorus, but
very happy. Every night at sunset they sat on the
ridge-pole and sang vespers. In the morning they
did their matins from their roost in the trees.
Tf Last night I was awakened about two o'clock
by the guineas — they were all singing, calling
and shouting at once. I was wondering what it
was all about when I heard Ali B aba's voice in
a loud whisper, " Git up quick — don't you hear
the guineas, they are yelling for god-sake ! Some
thing is wrong!"

I slid out of bed, jumped into my trousers, and
got out of doors. It was very dark.
"The trouble is in the chicken house, I reckon ! "
said Baba ^t We made for the poultry house.
As we approached I saw the door was open. A
man sprang out and ran past me. I made a grab
for him, but missed. Baba and I both dashed
after him; we might have captured him, if Ali
hadn't caught the clothes line under his chin
and been sent to grass ^t As he went down he
said something almost as bad as that which the

guineas were saying from the treetops.
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The dark figure we were following tumbled over
the fence and disappeared in the corn.
And all the time the guineas shouted.
We got a lantern, and found a bag full of some
thing; I cut the string and six of my best Ply
mouth Rocks flew out of that bag, which the
Mudsock had gotten ready to carry away.
We went out under the trees where the guineas
were roosting and I heard Mr. Guinea shout —
"All safe — everybody to bed — let 'er go!"
The discord ceased. And all around was the
great, dark, quiet, all-enfolding night, the silence
broken only by the gentle chirrup of the crickets.

You CAN SEND A BOY TO COLLEGE BUT You
CANNOT MAKE HIM THINK

Anent University Training

^"•^HE Middle West, with its semi-pioneer

times, supplied exactly the right envi-

JL ronment for the evolution of a very

strong type of man.

There was toil, hardship, difficulty, with a strict

necessity for economy of time and materials:

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HEALTH AND WEALTH

and there was also encouragement and a rich
reward for the men who would work. It was an
atmosphere of effort, invention, adjustment-
readjustment.

Paul Morton, man of action and man of power,
brought up in Nebraska, and graduating at the
University of Hard Knocks, is as good a speci
men of the new genus, as I can now recall. He
has health, enthusiasm, courage, and the fine
fusing and mixing qualities that mark him as
a man among men. Difficulty does not daunt
him, nor is he appalled when some one says,
"This has never been done before!" His busi
ness, like the true railroad man that he is, has
been to do that one thing — the thing that had
never been done before.

Of all men, the builder and organizer of rail
roads, must be a man who can abandon a good
plan for a better one. A good railroad manager
throws an engine on the scrap-heap every
morning before breakfast. Appliances are no
sooner invented arid tried before they must be
replaced by better ones. And so the railroad
builder must be a man of great fluidity of spirit;

quick to see a betterment, and firm in his
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HEALTH AND WEALTH

decision to utilize it. Moreover, he must know
humanity — the needs of the public — something
of every business — and season all of his work
with courtesy and enough of beauty to make
it acceptable.

And this is Paul Morton! Going into the Bur
lington & Missouri employ as errand boy at
fifteen; rising in a year to clerkship; next head-
clerk of his office; private secretary to a Divison
Superintendent; Assistant General Freight
Agent; General Passenger Agent; Traffic Man
ager; Second- Vice-President and practically
manager of one of the greatest railroad systems
in the world. A member of President Roosevelt's
Cabinet «jfc jfc

He was right in line for the presidency of the
Santa Fe, and would have landed the office,
had he not chosen to take control of a propo
sition that offered bigger difficulties.
So much for Paul Morton. And now behold this
man, strong as he is, dodging behind a super
stition, unable to face a popular fallacy, side
stepping a pedagogic bugaboo, hugging the
ropes, and crying for quarter.

"What do you think of college education?"

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HEALTH AND WEALTH

asked an editor of Paul Morton. And Paul
Morton ducks, courtesies and with a finger in
his mouth, says, "It is the regret of my life that
I did not go to college!"

Fie upon you, Paul Morton, why didn't you
say, "Polly wants a cracker," or something
equally startling and original ? You know per
fectly well, Paul, that your going into that office
as an errand boy, was exactly the start in life
that your needs required. You know, too, that
you have all the education you can carry — all
you can possibly use in your business.
Why twitter twaddle and sputter the trite ?Why
not say that college education is good for those
who need it, and let it go at that !
Or say, — I see — when you expressed regret that
you had not gone to college and been landed
in a railroad office at twenty-two, too proud to
scrub, too smart to hustle, and too old to quickly
adapt yourself to the letter file, you were pass
ing us out a subtle one, soaked in tincture of
iron— I see !

Wit

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HEALTH AND WEALTH

JUST AS LONG AS THE STATE SETS AN EXAMPLE
OF KILLING ITS ENEMIES, INDIVIDUALS WILL
OCCASIONALLY KILL THEIRS.'

The Death Penalty

AMONG the pleasant duties of the Presi
dent of France is that of signing all
death warrants issued in the Republic.
This is well. ^President Fallieres says, how
ever, that there should be a slight change in the
arrangement, to-wit : The judge who sentences
the man to die, should also act as his execu
tioner. ^[ President Fallieres knows full well that
if this were the case it would do awaj with
legalized homicide. He says, "I will not ask
another man to do that which I myself am
unwilling to do. I will do no murder — even for
the State."

Therefore, President Fallieres is commuting
all death penalties to life imprisonment, and
where there is a ghost of doubt about the man's
guilt, he pardons him. He says, "France must
learn to take care of her criminals without kill
ing them. It's a poor use to make of a man — to

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HEALTH AND WEALTH

take his life — it is an acknowledgment of our
inefficiency. Tf Even a life sentence should hold
out to the man the promise that twenty years of
good behavior and useful work will make him
free. Penology must be made a science to the
end that when we imprison a man we do it for
his own good, with the intent of turning out a
better man than we took in. ^f Just as long as
the State sets an example of killing its enemies,
individuals will occasionally kill theirs.
Two hundred years ago when England had
forty-six offenses punishable by death there was
very much more crime than now. Crime has
decreased as laws have become more humane.
There is no such thing as a criminal class jfi
Murder exists first in the heart; and it often
exists in the hearts of very good people. When
the State ceases to breed murder in the minds
of her citizens, they will cease not only the kill
ing of each other, but the desire to kill.
Judicial murders are worse than those done in
passion — they are so atrociously premeditated,
so deliberately planned. No excuse can be made
for them, beyond precedent.

The sentiments of the people are opposed to

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HEALTH AND WEALTH

this legal killing business, and this is why so
many murder trials turn themselves into a farce.
When there is to be an electrocution everybody
tries to get out of the job, and the deadly current
is always turned on by a man at a distance from
the scene, who salves his conscience by pretend
ing to think he is turning on the lights, and in
many cases the executioner is a convict, work
ing under orders.

President Fallieres' refusal to either act as an
executioner, or to order others to take human
life, is a manifestation of the Better Spirit of the

Now let enlightened America by her judges and
governors do the same. Our President and every
Governor of every state is a negative party to
these judicial killings. They know what is being
done and by lifting a finger they can stop it,just
as President Fallieres h is done & Let them
commute every death sentence to imprison
ment for life, all without argument or question
and they will thereby express the Spirit of the
Times, and Father Antic, the Law, who always
lags behind, will manicure his claws.

THOU SHALT NOT KILL!

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HEALTH AND WEALTH

POISE is THE STRENGTH OF BODY AND
STRENGTH OF MIND TO CONTROL YOUR
SYMPATHY AND YOUR KNOWLEDGE.

The Ability To Say No

NATURE makes the crab-apple, but
without man's help she could never
evolve the pippin.

Nature makes the man, but unless the man
takes charge of himself, he will never evolve
into a Master. He will remain a crab-apple man.
e^t So nature requires men to co-operate with
her. And of course in this statement I fully
admit that man is but a higher manifestation
of Nature.

Nature knows nothing of time — time is for
men. And the fleeting quality of time is what
makes it so valuable to us. If life were without
limit, we would do nothing. Life without death
would be appalling. It would be a day without
end — a day with no night of rest jfc Death is
change — and death is a manifestation of life.
^[ We are allowed to live during good behavior,
and this is what leads men toward truth, jus
tice and beauty, for these things mean an
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HEALTH AND WEALTH

extension of time, and happiness instead of
misery jt jfc

We work because life is short, and through
this work we evolve. The Master is a man who
has worked wisely and intelligently, and
through habit has come to believe in himself.
^f Men are strong just in proportion as they
have the ability to say NO, and stand by it.
Look back on your own life — what was it that
caused you the most worry, wear, vexation,
loss and pain ? Was n't it because you failed
to say no at certain times and stick to it ?
This vice of the inability to say NO comes
from lack of confidence in yourself.
You think too much of the opinions of other
people and not enough of your own. "Put your
name right here — it is only a matter of form,
you know — just between friends."
And you sign your name. The years go by and
there comes a time when you pay for your
weakness in blood and tears.
And the real fact is that the good opinion of
the best people comes from your saying NO,
and not weakly yielding and putting your name

to a subscription, a contract or an acknowledg-

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HEALTH AND WEALTH

ment which was none of yours, ^f Cultivate self-
confidence and learn to say NO. It is a great
thing to be a man, but it is a finer thing to be
a master — Master of yourself.

THE MAN WHO NEEDS No SUPERVISION
HAS ALREADY SUCCEEDED

The Hundred Point Man

THE other day I wrote to a banker-
friend inquiring as to the responsi
bility of a certain person. The answer
came back, thus: "He is a Hundred-Point man
in everything and anything he undertakes." I
read the telegram and then pinned it up over
my desk where I could see it. That night it sort
of stuck in my memory. I dreamed of it.
The next day I showed the message to a fellow
I know pretty well, and said, "I'd rather have
that said of me than to be called a great this
or that." If Oliver Wendell Holmes has left on
record the statement that you could not throw
a stone on Boston Common without caroming

on three poets, two essayists, and a playwright.
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HEALTH AND WEALTH

^Hundred-Point men are not so plentiful ^
If A Hundred -Point man is one who is true
to every trust; who keeps his word; who is
loyal to the firm that employs him; who does
not listen for insults nor look for slights; who
carries a civil tongue in his head; who is polite
to strangers, without being "fresh;" who is
considerate towards servants; who is moderate
in his eating and drinking; who is willing to
learn; who is cautious and yet courageous.
Hundred-Point men may vary much in ability,
but this is always true — they are safe men to
deal with, whether drivers of drays, motor men,
clerks, cashiers, engineers or presidents of rail
roads <$> <£

Paranoics are people who are suffering from
fatty enlargement of the ego ^ They want the
best seats in the synagogue, they demand bou
quets, compliments, obeisance, and in order to
see what the papers will say next morning, they
sometimes obligingly commit suicide.
The Paranoic is the antithesis of the Hundred-
Point man ^ The Paranoic imagines he is
being wronged, that some one has it in for him

and that the world is down on him. He is given

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HEALTH AND WEALTH

to that which is strange, peculiar, uncertain,

eccentric and erratic.

The Hundred-Point man may not look just

like all other men, or dress like them, or talk

like them, but what he does is true to his own

nature. He is himself.

He is more interested in doing his work than

in what people will say about it. He does not

consider the gallery. He acts his thought and

thinks little of the act.

I never knew a Hundred-Point man who was

not one brought up from early youth to make

himself useful, and to economize in the matter

of time and money.

Necessity is ballast.

The Paranoic, almost without exception, is

one who has been made exempt from work. He

has been petted, waited upon, coddled, cared

for, laughed at and chuckled to.

The excellence of the old-fashioned big family

was that no child got an undue amount of

attention jt The antique idea that the child

must work for his parents until the day he was

twenty-one was a deal better for the youth than

to let him get it into his head that his parents
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HEALTH AND WEALTH

must work for him. ^f Nature intended that we
should all be poor — that we should earn our
bread every day before we eat it.
When you find the Hundred-Point man you
will find one who lives like a person in moder
ate circumstances, no matter what his finances
are. Every man who thinks he has the world
by the tail and is about to snap its demnition
head off for the delectation of mankind, is
unsafe, no matter how great his genius in the
line of specialties.

The Hundred-Point man looks after just one
individual, and that is the man under his own
hat; he is one who does not spend money until
he earns it; who pays his way; who knows that
nothing is ever given for nothing; who keeps
his digits off other people's property. When he
does not know what to say, why, he says noth
ing, and when he does not know what to do,
does not do it & We should mark on moral
qualities not merely mental attainment or pro
ficiency, because in the race of life only moral
qualities count. We should rate on judgment,
application and intent jfc Men by habit and
nature who are untrue to a trust, are danger-

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HEALTH AND WEALTH

ous just in proportion as they are clever. I
would like to see a university devoted to turn
ing out safe men instead of merely clever ones.
How would it do for a college to give one
degree, and one only, to those who are worthy,
the degree of H. P. ?

Would it not be worth striving for, to have a
college president say of you, over his own sig
nature: "He is a Hundred-Point man in every
thing and anything that he undertakes!"

ONLY BY HELPING OTHERS CAN You HELP
YOURSELF

The Zeitgeist

MAURICE MAETERLINK says
that one bee can never make honey,
for the reason that a bee alone has
no intelligence. Bees succeed only by working
for the good of other bees. A single bee, sepa
rated from the hive, is absolutely helpless, yet
a hive of bees has a very great and well-defined
purpose and intelligence.
And this intelligence, Maeterlink calls, "The

Spirit of the Hive."
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HEALTH AND WEALTH

Occasionly a bee will go off to the fields and
come back gorged with honey, bringing noth
ing for the common stock, and this bee is
quickly killed—stung to death by a self-ap
pointed committee who sit on the case, and
seem to consider that any bee that loses sight
of the Spirit of the Hive and works for private
good is sick, criminally insane, and cannot be
allowed longer to cumber good space.
Now it is quite probable that if we could com
municate with a bee, and ask it why it makes
honey, it would say, "I make honey because I
choose to," just as Schopenhauer's boulder
that rolled down hill explained that it did so
because it found a peculiar pleasure and satis
faction in so doing.

Men think they do certain things because they
choose, but the actual fact is they simply suc
cumb to the strongest attraction and call it
choice «jt Is n't a man under the domain of
Natural Law just as much as a bee ? I think
so. The recognition of this great truth con
cerning the Solidarity of the Race, marks a
mental epoch in the onward and upward
march jt &

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HEALTH AND WEALTH

With the bee, there is seemingly no evolution.
The Spirit of the Hive is fixed within narrow
limits e^fc <£•

With man, the Spirit of the Hive, or if you pre
fer, the Spirit of the Times, or the "Zeitgeist,"
is a constantly changing spiritual entity.
Ancient Athens was made and controlled by
fourteen men. But these masterly men«*lid not
represent the "Zeitgeist," nor were they strong
enough to form the Spirit of the Hive. They
kept the many in subjection by the seductive
ecclesiasticon — by shows, spectacles, pomps,
processions, and when danger at home became
imminent, the mob was diverted by a foreign
war jt jfc

As long as the actual "Zeitgeist" of Greece
was saturated with religious fanaticism, super
stition, a childish tantrum tendency, a Harry
Thaw and Harry Lehr propensity, and an Old
Harry atmosphere, the fourteen great men of
Athens who for just thirty-six years sat on the
lid, were in a very dangerous position.
The miracle is that they kept the beast down
and under long enough to build the temples

and embellish them with undying works of art.
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HEALTH AND WEALTH

But they were allowed to do their work only by
pandering to the hoi polloi idea that the statues
represented the gods in Elysium, and that the
Pantheon was for the habitation of Zeus Him
self. To find the Deity in yourself by producing
Art, was a truth the many could not compre
hend, and when Praxitiles hinted at it, his
temerity cost him his life.

When Phidias placed his own portrait with
that of Pericles upon a sacred shield, the glory
'that was Greece got its death sentence.
The mumble of discontent grew into a roar.
Socrates was passed the hemlock, and all of the
fourteen actual gods who made the glory were
either killed or ostracized — robbed, disgraced,
undone ^fc ^

The "Zeitgeist" had its way. Socrates, Euclid,
Pericles, Phidias, Herodotus, Empedocles and
Sophocles no more represented the Spirit of
the Hive that existed at Athens, than Jesus
represented the "Zeitgeist" of Jerusalem in
the age of Augustus.

Savonarola, Tyndale, Ridley, Huss, Wyclif,
George Wishart, were martyrs, all to the Spirit
of the Times.

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HEALTH AND WEALTH

Yet Socrates, Jesus, Savonarola, Old John
Brown, and none of Freedom's illustrious dead
died in vain. They died that we might live; and
as a single drop of analine will tint an entire
cask of water, so has the blood of martyrs
tinted the Spirit of the Times and given us a
peculiar and different "Zeitgeist" from that
which we would otherwise have had.
The death of Lincoln created a sentiment
which the living man could not, and which
in time brought the entire South to an acknowl
edgment of the righteousness of his cause.
The "Zeitgeist" riot being able to understand
or assimilate the doctrines of the seers and
prophets, killed them. The man who preaches
doctrines or performs deeds contrary to the
Spirit of the Times is ever regarded as the
enemy of the State, a menace to society, and
is snuffed out. Whether he be above the law
or below it, matters not: the saviours of the
world have always been hanged between
thieves, ^f This full, frank, free expression which
we now enjoy is the precious legacy of a blood
stained past. And it is for us, the living, to see
that these dead shall not have died in vain.

HEALTH AND WEALTH

Familiarity breeds indifference, if not con
tempt, and whether there be men now living
as great as those fourteen in the time of Peri
cles, it would be difficult to determine.
But this we know — we have a Spirit of the
Hive now that is making honey honestly, and
that too, of a satisfactory quality, while the
honey of Hymettus was made by that immortal
fourteen who worked by stealth, plot, plan and
connivance.

Our Spirit of the Times is of a kind unequalled
in history. We have thousands upon thousands
of men and women who are thinking great and
noble thoughts and doing great and splendid
work ,^t <£

Our "Zeitgeist" is sensitive, restless, alert,
impressionable, progressive, and is making
for righteousness. The man who can imagine
a better religion than now exists, is allowed to
throw his vision on the screen, and he who can
imagine a better government than we now
have, is not hanged for his pains, but is
allowed to express his dream.
Public opinion rules. No law that is contrary
to the "Zeitgeist" can be enforced jt Judges

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HEALTH AND WEALTH

translate and interpret the laws to suit the
Spirit of the Times.

Every man who speaks out loud and clear is
tinting the "Zeitgeist." Every man who expres
ses what he honestly thinks is true, is changing
the Spirit of the Times. Thinkers help other
people to think, for they formulate what others
are thinking. No person writes or thinks alone
—thought is in the air, but its expression is
necessary to create a tangible Spirit of the
Times. The value of a thinker who writes, or a
writer who thinks, is that he supplies argu
ments for the people and confirms all who
are on his wire in opinions often before uttered.

162

So here endeth the book, Health and
Elbert Hubbard, now done into enduring print
by The Roy crofters, at their Shop which is in
East Aurora, Erie County, New York, mcmviii

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